Please read
Self Reflection: The Journey thus far… for the first half of the journey.
I am beginning to recapture the core of who I am, but I am still very eager to receive ALL that God has for me. In my humility and hunger, I want to be in a constant position to learn and receive all the free gifts that my Maker wants to give me…with the purpose of giving it/passing it on to others.
With humility being practiced…I feel like I have slowly been stepping more into Me than ever before. I am now able to embrace who God is creating me to be…in the light of my own journey, not in the shadow of someone else’s! As I am being shaken daily – I feel as though I am able to see my form once again. My core has changed a little, but for the most part – a lot of who I am, my thoughts and desires – have stayed the same. Yes, my core is similar, but I can also see how he has broken things off of me (Independent spirit, pride, envy), and is adding more of Him at the same time (evangelism, love, a quite/gentle spirit, humility). Think of your Christmas tree. You shake it to remove all the dead needles, yet the shape of the tree remains. While the tree is beautiful just as it is, it becomes even more beautiful as ornaments are hung in it’s branches…The tree comes even more alive – especially with the lights!
I know that I am a
visionary and
dreamer. Embrace it. Use is and run with it…in the light of humility. I am a
student of those around me. I love to learn. I have a heart of
hospitality. I want to
travel to 7 continents in 7 months. I would love to open my own
bed and breakfast…to be a mom in a
Mercy House…to teach in an
inner city school. The Lord is reawakening me to Me. But I am now more Me than ever before. And God wants to continue to make me more Me everyday.
I need to embrace the truth that He has already revealed, rest and delight in that, while still seeking His face and every good and perfect gift He wants to bestow. All in the attitude of serving the Kingdom out of love, devotion and obedience.
Freely I have received, freely give. Once I acknowledge the blessings that the Lord has bestowed on me, I am more free to give them away. For example, the Lord is revealing to me the power of my testimony. That he has kept me pure and holy. I have lived a life protected from much pain and sorrow. I have received many blessings – a family, good health, education – and now I want to pass that on to others. So, in Mozambique, I often felt convicted to pray for the kids. They are the future of Mozambique. They need to be protected by prayer. Pass on the life that I have freely received. Give it away and leave the results in God’s hands. So, many times at our outreaches, instead of going forward and praying for physical healing (which is good also), I would stay back and pray for the healing/protection of hearts.
Know God’s heart, His heart for you and his people, and be obedient to the call that He is placing in your life.
So, I have been able to step back into the leader that I am: a leader by example rather than position. My mindset has recaptured who I am.
I am a
leader that serves, encourages, listens, accepts, empowers…and more importantly wants others to “do as I do” (leader by example) rather than “do as I say” (a positional leader). The
sheep follow best when cared for and loved…not lorded over or manipulated. Take yourself off that risky pedestal and kneel even lower than those entrusted unto you. Serve them and they will want to follow you. I finally feel like I am ready to lead in this way, because a few weeks ago, the Lord answered my prayers and gave me his heart for my team. I can truly serve them out of love now, while before, truthfully – it was just a motion. While I am still “Nessa leader”, I feel like I am beginning to grasp the true leader/person I am in Christ. Which is Stephanie. Not someone else…
The final two steps in our Spiritual Journey/Initiation:
Call and
Confirmation. I feel like I am on the brink of each…God knows. Maybe they are just temporary “calls”, but I am beginning to realize that there is always Something/Someone that is “calling” me ahead on my faith journey with each step I take…
