We have just passed the halfway mark of the World Race. It’s crazy to me that we’ve already been going 5 ½ months! I have been reflecting back on my personal growth journey thus far and want to share some of the most recent changes.
Mozambique brought the hunger and desire back…The eagerness to step into the holy of holies. That intimacy is resurfacing. Thank You GOD!
The basic theme over the past month (throughout the first month and a half) of Africa, is Rest in Me and who I AM…who I have made you and am making you to be. Then, out of my (Stephanie’s) nothingness, and God’s fullness, I am freely able to give of myself.
I feel like I am passing through the 6 stages of my Spiritual Journey/Spiritual initiation just as they are laid out by Seth Barnes (World Race Visionary): Abandon, Brokenness, Dependency, Empowerment, Call, Confirmation. 1.
Abandon – (Mexico) leaving for the World Race and leaving all behind. 2.
Brokenness – (read Down in the Dumps) receiving God’s heart and love for Nicaragua and my team. 3.
Dependency – (read
My Journal Journey Part 1: Independence to Dependence and
My Journal Journey Part II: The Art of Interdependence) realizing my relationship with my Maker. I am not made to be an Independent spirit, but a loved creation that is totally dependent upon my Maker and interdependent on the Body.
Currently, I am learning a lot about
Empowerment – it’s not positional, but personal and spiritual… At first, I thought empowerment fell right in line when I was appointed “team leader” to serve Nessa because I was empowered into a place of authority. But over the last month, I have come to realize that empowerment doesn’t come from position. It comes from God and when I embraced who I am and who He is making me to be.
Below are random thoughts/journal entries and experiences that illustrate my recent growth process and understanding of empowerment. I pray that God will use it to encourage and uplift each one of you…
Humility: I have been learning a lot about humility and how it is the only fertile foundation upon which to grow as a believer. It keeps me in my spot: a creation – not The Creator. Nothingness without Christ, but everything in Him who strengthens me. Meekness and lowliness are key. God uses the weak to shame the strong (1 Cor. 1:26-31). We need to clothes ourselves with humility…it’s a mindset that becomes a “heartset” or a lifestyle. Practice by serving. Serve the team Stephanie. Give of yourself and put their needs above your own. The humble will be exalted.
Envy/jealousy vs. a heart at rest (true beauty): This hit me in my face this month. I thought I was above it, but I think that was because I was right in the middle of it. The spirit of envy and jealousy reached a high. As I am being broken down and slowly built back up, I am becoming a conglomeration of truth and “jealousies”. I am grabbing a hold of who God says I am, but I also feel that I am trying to become bits and pieces of the “positive” I see in others. I want the “gift of evangelism” like her, or the “joy” that she has, not because my spirit is truly calling out for it, but because I am envious of another.
Then, in the Lord’s gentleness, he convicted me of this and thank God, set me free of this ridiculous burden. We are all on a spiritual journey. But, we are all heading in different directions at different rates…just as God has already planned out. So how can I even begin to compare my journey to someone else’s? They are not supposed to look alike. We, in God’s glory, are all created to be unique reflections of God Himself. And He’s a big, immensely diverse God. So we are each a beautiful testimony of our Maker.
God says, an envious or jealous heart is despised. It is so stupid to covet or be jealous of a good gift that someone else has. God has a storehouse that never runs dry. Just because he gives a good gift of “joy” to one person doesn’t mean that there is now one less “joy” gift to hand out. He has an endless supply and he wants to give good gifts/unique gifts to each of us according to His design. It is not a competitive thing at all! Rejoice with our brothers and sisters – do not be envious.
Inner beauty is found in a quiet, gentle, peaceful spirit that is in love with her creator and knows that she is loved by Him. He is her security and joy and identity! My beauty will come from a heart at rest. A heart that does not compete for attention or strive to win affection, but a heart that puts complete trust in my Maker. A heart that submits to lordship, leadership and authority. A heart that knows who I am and that my “husband” was/is trustworthy and faithful to provide for my every need.
Please read
Self Reflection
…and the Journey Continues on… for more.
(I have missed all of you! When I am able to blog more regularly, I feel that you are right here by my side, experiencing the journey with me…so, I’ve been a little lonely lately. I’m keeping you in the loop as often as possible. Thanks for joining in on the journey! We still have have an amazing 5 1/2 months to go…)
