on friday nite i boycotted hw, kdps, pdps, books and computers and
exercised productive procrastination.. productive, in that what i chose
to do instead fed my heart. sometimes i think being still is what’s
needed. so i sat, stood, stooped in front of and stirred a fire for
nearly seven hours. (thank you jeff hylton for starting one – i look
forward to being passed the fire-starting baton!)
there’s
something addictive about a fire… it’s like a drug, it brings forth
thoughts, contemplation, pondering, reflection, enlightenment.. it’s
like entering another zone altogether.. i remember in ukraine, my dear
teammate Lins was coming up with all sorts of deep thoughts in front of
a campfire. two comments i got about 
being
out at the firepit were “wow, you must’ve had a lot on your mind.” and
“did you come up with a lot of thoughts?” yes and yes.. maybe smoke
inhalation is a good thing after all.
it’s interesting.. when
you really enjoy something (or someone), you’re very aware of it (or
him/her) and you’ll do anything for it (him/her).. the moment i saw the
fire going, i dropped my plans and spent the rest of the night out
there.. that was it for me. there were others who stopped by for a bit
and then continued on their path/mission to whatever they needed to
do… others who took a glance on their way past… and still others
who didn’t know there was a fire going. John Lennon said “life is what
happens when we’re busy making plans.” not to dispute what we learned
in class about God being a planner and plans help make kingdom dreams
happen.. but how often is God the fire that we miss completely? how
often do we miss out on something magnificent, that’s been there, on
our way to planning next steps or getting things done? btw, this
wasn’t to diss those who didn’t join me.. i actually really enjoyed the
time alone… but it’s just to say, it’s interesting how we each have
different things that captivate us.
another thing about
fire is how amazingly long one can last if someone’s there tending to
it… mine was still going when i left at 1:30 am. sometimes it takes
a few ppl to start it, show others the supply of wood to keep it
burning, and then allow that fire to stoke in the hands of someone
else. the fire of God inside of us can keep going but we need others
to give us a hand once in a while… others to help re-start the fire
when it’s struggling to stay lit and then stick around to make sure
it’s still going. partnership.
God, i wanna be a fire keeper… a fire stoker…
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
lastly,
i’ve decided that it’s important for my future husband to be a fire
starter. (literal fire, nothing symbolic) and it would be great if
he’d be out there with me til it goes out.
sorry, this was an awkwardly worded blog… maybe i need to be fired from this blog writing business.
