Ever since I’ve arrived in Mukono, Uganda, working with Pastor Joseph at Christ's Ambassador Church and Champion Christian School, there’s been a strange phenomenon happening. From the start of the Race, I’ve always been excited to be in each country. The breathtaking views, the different way of life, the people, the culture. There was always more to see, more to experience. There was no time to miss home at all. Other teammates would comment about how much they missed home, especially last month with Christmas and New Year’s away from family, but strangely, I never did.
But this month in Uganda was different. It was our third African country, and by now the red dirt roads and luscious greenery were all familiar. The children crying “Mzungu! Mzungu!” (“White person! White person!”) has ceased to be heart-meltingly cute but another cry for attention on an already worn out day. The cycle of meeting new people constantly, of praying for people we barely knew, of being expected to give an encouragement or a word wherever we go was wearying. Our schedule was also very busy, which was a rather shocking change from the relaxed, “African” pace of our previous two months’ ministries. I even had a dream at night about shopping for new clothes, and in my spare time made a list of movies I wanted to watch and what I wanted to buy when I got home.
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I’m glad I have a God who doesn’t overlook my situation, for just at this moment He began to speak to me. “The joy of the Lord is your strength,” He reminded me (Neh 8:10). That’s true. But I don’t always feel joyful, Lord. Sometimes every cell in my body rebels against going out in the hot sun, talking to one more person, one more person. What then?
Next, He reminded me that He is the Provider. See how I provided for the Israelites, He gently nudged me through passages in Exodus 16 and Numbers 11. They were hungry, and I gave them manna from heaven. Even if you think it is impossible, I can make it possible. Good point, God. When the Israelites were wandering in the desert, God made thin flakes like frost appear on the ground to make bread with – it was nothing ever seen on the earth, so that the Israelites even called it “manna”, meaning, “what is it?” When the Israelites wanted to eat meat, God made a strong wind blow QUAIL into the Israelite’s camp in the desert. I mean, what couldn’t God do? I began to be excited. If movies and new clothes was what I really needed, I knew God could provide that for me, even thousands of miles away from North America in a small town in Africa, in some incredible way.
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But even that wasn’t totally satisfactory. Yes, I felt incredibly reassured that if there was anything I needed, God could and would definitely provide that for me, and I knew that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him” (Rom 8:28), so that even my lack was something that worked for my good. But that didn’t stop the work of each day from being a grind, nor did it stop my sudden desire for the next four months to fly by so that I could rest and relax in my own comfort zone again. So, what then, Lord? I thought you called me to be a missionary. How can I be, if I’m having such a hard time?
The answer finally came in this verse. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above…set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Col 3:1-2). There was no way around it other than a heart change. There was no way I could do missionary work for the next four months, much less the rest of my life, if in the back of my mind I was still longing for the things of this world. The problem wasn’t my lack, it was my obsession with my lack. Why had my work become weary and tiresome? It was because I had lost sight of the goal. Why was I caught up with music and movies? Because I had forgotten the things above; that each day, our work was reconciling people back to their Maker, bringing people back to the way they were created to live – in love and communion with their God, and affecting people’s eternal destiny. In 1 Peter 1:18, I am reminded that I have been “redeemed from the empty way of life handed down…by [my] ancestors”. There’s no going back to that life again.
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I remember back in Kenya, one day I was going to run with my teammate Ben but discovered it was raining. “Are we still going to run?” I asked him. “Of course,” he replied. Afterwards, he told me, “It’s not that I care whether you run or not. But I decided to run yesterday night, and I wanted to keep my word. It’s about perseverance. If I’m going to let the weather stop me, how am I going to get anything done?”
Another time, just last week I mentioned to my teammate Brandon that I wanted to learn how to do a cartwheel. “Ok,” he said. After that, any time we got a moment, he would say, “show me your cartwheel.” And then he would give me pointers and say, “try again.” I got kind of tired of trying so many times and was about to say I didn’t want to learn after all. But I decided that I said I wanted to learn, so I should follow through with it. After a couple of days, I could do a decent cartwheel! I was excited, not only because I could now do a cartwheel, but more so because I had followed through with what I had said I would do.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Rom 5:3-4). Yes, the excitement about being in a new place and culture has died down. But I’m excited because this is where the real growth begins. There’s no reason for me to be here now other than THE reason – Jesus. I know it’s not going to be easy, and I definitely won’t always have the right attitude or mindset, but I am in the process of learning to live with that mindset. And as I learn to set my heart and mind on things above, then I will truly have the joy of the Lord at what He is doing through our work – and that will be my strength.
