The last day of the race is ONE WEEK away. While I think about going home, I think about the past year. There are so many different ways I could process such an intense year. Where could I possibly begin? I’m reminded of what a man asked a few of us in a coffee shop one day who was interested in the work we came to do. He asked us, “What have you accomplished here?” What a great question! What have we done to make a difference in the world? My answer is now is different than I predicted it would be before I left a year ago. I thought we would be caring for unloved kids in packed-out orphanages. I thought we would be healing every sick person we came into contact with using the power of prayer. I thought we would preach in Africa and entire villages would fall to their knees in repentance of their sins. But it wasn’t. What I learned about raw ministry and God’s purpose for “changing the world” isn’t about big, flashy accomplishments and numbers to show off to people when you get home and talk about your trip.
For me personally, I learned that ministry is very un-glamorous and at times this year I struggled with feeling like I was going home “empty-handed”. I felt like I wasn’t making a difference at all and questioned my purpose for even being on the trip. Later, I realized that ministry is not about what I can come do for people. It’s about the people. It’s about looking into their eyes and seeing their souls and realizing how we are all the same. Every single person on this earth is the same. It’s realizing that every single person in this world truly needs Jesus whether they realize it or not. Not only the salvation that everyone claims to have and then stops there. They need the personal, intimate friendship with our Creator.
For me to get to that point, it took leaving my normal life and travel the world to form that relationship and grasp who God really is. I remember sitting in Thailand thinking, how have I never experienced God like this? How did I think I was so close to Him when I didn’t even really know His heart? I think part of it is the American Christianity culture. The culture that is drenched in distractions in every possible way. It’s hearing shallow sermons, apathy to God moving among people, and tons of people telling you their own opinions of religion/God… But despite that, something inside of me desired more of Him. I didn’t realize there was more, I just wanted to be a little closer to Him and my world was ROCKED!
He blessed me with my dream of traveling around the world coming true! He romanced me, pursued me, and surprised me with different blessings throughout the year He knew would make my heart smile! I grew spiritually on this race more than I ever expected. We didn’t go to a lot of church services this year. We didn’t have new music to play on our IPods. We didn’t have bible study books. We had the Bible and we had God. We just sat in His presence. We worshipped Him with only the strum of a guitar. I want to bring that simplicity to be in His presence back with me.
This new freedom and understanding of who He is has changed me.
How can I not go home and disciple others? How can I not teach people how they can actually have a conversation with God instead of praying at Him? How can I not go home and help build a non profit ministry that not only helps the community locally, but also connects to a ministry in Africa to help women get out of the sex industry and help orphans have new parents?
So going back to my original question: What have you accomplished?
I haven’t done anything significant–But God has changed my heart. I see people differently. I view myself differently. I live in freedom. Because of those things, I try to pass on those lessons to others. Sometimes I saw the physical results of work we did. The results I didn't see–I believe God used us to help create heart/spiritual results that we may never know about ‘til heaven and that’s okay. Either way, this year was a privilege. God doesn’t need any of us to help Him accomplish anything. I am coming home incredibly grateful for God and everyone who helped me experience the best year of my life!
