As far as spiritual things go, I have really learned SO MUCH and have PAGES of notes from camp, but obvioulsy I can’t share it all on here. However, a couple things stick out in my head of how God spoke directly to me that I want to share:
We had a session with our squad about being sensitive to the Spirit when praying for people. Once you ask people how you can pray for them, listen to see what else God is telling you to pray for. This can be through a word, vision, bible verse, song, whatever. They had thirty people stand against the sides of the room with their backs against the wall and their eyes closed. The rest of us had to stand in front of someone without them knowing who we were. I stood in front of someone who I barely knew, so she knew nothing about me and definitely nothing I was struggling with.
To be honest, I was kind of leery about this exercise and if would work, but I prayed that God would give this girl a word or something that was so specific for me I would have to know it was Him. She held my hands and prayed silently as I thought about some things I was struggling with that week and even had some names in my head when she said “God’s telling me…Forgiveness.” My mouth dropped open. That was EXACTLY what I was strugging with! She continued with, “God’s telling me that someone has hurt you recently and you need to forgive them.” Ok, by now I was dripping tears! God had spoken to me so clearly I just wanted to cry because it was so overwhelming! If that girl would’ve said the name I was thinking of, I would have just fallen on the floor!! Thankfully, she didn’t. When she was allowed to open her eyes I was standing there dripping tears and saying that’s exactly what I needed to hear. She told me, “God gave me that word before I even felt the presence of you standing in front of me. I even prayed ‘Are you sure God?’ And He kept giving me that word.”
It was amazing and this exercise stuck out in my head the most because I felt like I had heard an audible voice of God that day speaking directly to me!
Incredible.
Another God moment:
Recently I have been struggling with living “under the law” and not in the freedom that I was given when I became a christian. I have been living under the impression that I need to be the “perfect christian” and barely sin because I am a christian and I should know better. Then when I fall—and I always do and always will—I beat myself up over it. I get so caught up in how I am supposed to live to make God happy with me by my actions. The truth is, I can never earn God’s love through my works or actions. He already loves me more than I know. I have been more concerned with my performance that I don’t allow myself to live in the freedom that Jesus died for.
During a worship service we sang a song about Calvary. We sang “calvary has conquered” over and over. Everyone around me was worshipping in their own way and I just closed my eyes and sang it to God. Then it’s like I had a vision. In my head I could see Jesus hanging on the cross bloodied and beaten, when He turned to me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, “I’m doing this for you because I love you.” It hit me so hard in the heart and tears just rolled down my face. But it wasn’t sad tears. They were more like thankful tears for all He has done for me and how much He truly loves me. The next morning I had a quiet time as I read through Galations and came across this verse: “I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for nothing. “ (Galations 2:21)
God knows where I am and He knows where my heart is. I am so grateful that He is patient with me and gently teaches me how to work through my issues to make me become more like Him. =)
