It was about two weeks ago. I was journaling about how my dad was sending me sweet emails telling me that he loves me, he’s proud of me, and he can’t wait until I come home. As I was writing that, I imagined him coming into the coffee shop that I was in. It was very busy, but he would spot me and smile with love in his eyes. He would not care about anyone else in the room. I was his daughter. Even at the age of 26, he still wants to protect me, fight for me, listen to me, spend time with me, and give me the world because that’s how much he loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind how my dad loves me as his own “baby girl”.
Then immediately it hit me: That’s how God sees me. He looks in that same coffee shop and He is amazed with me. His daughter. He delights in me and loves me more than my own dad even could. He would do everything my dad would do for me, but even more. He knows me better than anyone else does and even more than I truly know myself. He just loves me for who I am.
It sounds so simple. Not hard to comprehend, but somehow in my life, it was. I knew in my head that God loved me, but always felt like I was letting Him down, and I had to do all the right things to make Him happy. When bad stuff happened, it was “my punishment”, and I deserved it. I was so very wrong.
This past month was hard for me, spiritually and emotionally. (Those two always seem to go together somehow.) After my recent blog about my month’s struggles, I really started pursuing God in a new way. I had this new image of who He was and I wanted more of Him. He loves me and was constantly showing me in different ways. There were moments spent with Him where I felt like I could feel Him smiling at me, feel Him hugging me, and that I could feel Him truly delighting in me. He always has, but now I actually understand that and can receive it with such freedom. He's becoming my new best friend.
I’m learning how to have conversations with Him. People always talked about that, but I never really sat down and talked with Him before, it was always at Him. When something hard happens or I’m upset about something, now I immediately think, “I need to talk to God about that.” I used to go straight to Christian friends or family for advice, but now I go straight to Him because He’s the one with the answers.
I view Him like a loving father. The bible says we are the bride of Christ, but since I’m not married yet and haven’t experienced that type of love, I am so content in seeing myself as His daughter. I hear people's testimonies and am proud and get excited about how my Father rescues them just like He rescued me. I read the bible and it really is a love letter. Everything in there is how much He loves us and just wants us to accept that. Jesus came to earth to serve us. He loves us and wants to serve us. Nothing else is on His agenda. On top of that, He wants us to have this amazing life while we’re here too. He doesn’t want to make our lives hard. We do that by making our own decisions. He wants to amaze us, surprise us, and for us to live with so much joy!
I pray and I feel like my heart might explode. Tears come to my eyes as I just thank Him. I thank Him for so many things… I’m halfway done with the race. I can’t wait to see what He has for me in this second half as I continue to travel the world with my sweet Father. =)
This is a video by Graham Cooke speaking as if God were speaking these
words right to you! Just close your eyes and listen to the words.
