Soul ties. Soul ties are formed when two people's souls connect and form an intimate bond. They can happen with anyone even without your knowledge. They can also be good and destructive if we depend on them or get wrapped up in them. What I failed to realize was that although when we think of soul ties we think of being in a relationship with someone, they can happen with friends or even with children.
I got a chance to sit down with Selena (my World Race mom) and talk about my last two months. I anticipated just giving her a brief overview of my months, but instead we talked about India and the orphanage. After talking for a couple minutes, she heard from the Lord that I had a soul tie with D that needed to be broken.
In my past relationship, there was a child involved (I will call him D). When that four year relationship ended, I had lingering feelings of regret. Regret that I did not try to adopt the little boy that felt like my son. I tried to explain the relationship I formed with L at the orphanage in India in such a short period and how that stirred up the remaining feelings I still had about D. I was also sad that I had to leave her behind and still think about how she is doing and if she is okay.
After talking with Selena she walked me through breaking my sould tie with D..So right in the middle of Bangkok in a tiny coffee shop she held my hand as I let him go…I envisioned him so soft and sweet nestled in my arms in his Nemo blanket just as he was the night I said goodbye after my relationship ended. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and smiled. I smiled back with tears in my eyes and held him tighter than I ever have. He fit so perfectly in my arms, I wish that moment could have lasted forever. Selena asked me to see the rope (soul tie) that was connected to us to not be attached in between us, but wrapped around us. She then asked me to see God coming up to me and gently unwrapping the rope. Once it was gone, she asked me to give D over to God’s open arms, knowing he was and is always watching over him. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I let him go. I watched them walk away hand in hand. D was laughing and giggling with such joy. He looked back only once almost to say…”It’s ok…he’s got me..”
"It’s ok…he’s got me..” that keeps playing over and over in my head. A weight was lifted off my shoulders knowing someone else is protecting him.
Selena told me something I will never forget that day, “ We are not God.” And although we would like to be in control and protect those we feel close to, especially children, God has them. As hard as it was to leave L behind at Sarah’s Covenant Home in India and let D go in my mind I have to remember they are his children and he will not let anything happen to them.
-Psalms 122:7-8
