I can not believe I have only 6 months left…that number hit me pretty hard this month. It could have also been opening up my Christmas presents and receiving an air mattress, sleeping bag cover and head lamp!
I have been trying to understand where I am at in all of this. Wondering if every holiday, every time I spend with friends/family, every laugh I have with my friends is that much better because I won't see them for a year. One year….it never seemed so long before. For all of my friends and family reading this, just know that when I am with you I am taking that moment in and savoring it until I come home.
I think God knows how much I am struggling with all of this, because last night I dreamt that I was in India. Now, I have never been to India, but I knew it was India somehow :). I remember walking out of a building holding a little girl native to India with big eyes and dark curls who was laughing and holding me tight. I looked up and saw this amazing landscape with the golden sun shining high in the sky. I dropped to my knees and wept. I wept because I knew I was in the right place and I was so happy God had lead me there, because I never would have gotten there alone. I remember seeing all my friends and family and smiling as I walked by them. When I woke up I felt calm. I do not remember interacting with anyone, but knew that I was passing by and knowing they were safe and happy at home and still in my heart although I was miles away from them.
I have left the people I love in my life many times and I do not think it will ever get easier for me. I studied abroad three times in college and thought eventually I would be able to travel and not be so emotional! However, I am starting to understand that I get that way because I want to keep everyone close to me and in my heart while I am traveling and it is an overwhelming task. I want people to know I do not just leave them when I walk onto a plane without them, but I take them with me.
So I promise that I will do by best…Give my best to help people, give my best to keep you all with me while I am gone, and give my best to be the hands and feet of God. I want to show everyone I can do what they believe I can do. The overwhelming amount of support I have received thus far has shown me that you do believe in me. Words cannot explain what that means to me. I appreciate everyone’s contributions and encouraging words. I will give my best for you…
“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
-Mother Teresa
