Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus: .. Philippians 2:3-5
On Saturday I was not feeling good at all, I had a sore throat, my body hurt, and I was running a fever, not exactly what I would consider one of the best days on the race. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another church service where they spoke in Spanish and I had to sit there as I understood nothing. All I wanted to do was hear someone speak English and sing a song in English. (I am slowly starting to forget my English words and I am speaking more Spanglish, this should be an interesting year. )
Church was good, we got to hear two American missionaries speak, it was very encouraging and exactly what we needed to hear as a team. We have been talking about our expectations and how God is truly telling us don’t have any. We have been discussing how things have happened this month but we were thinking more people would have been broken for God, or we would run into them again after they accepted Christ. They shared a story with us about how Charles did a yearlong missions trip in Iraq and it took him four months for God to do big things. Which was our wake up call, we have planted the seeds now we have to have faith that God will provide them with other people to grow.
Sunday I still wasn’t feeling good and to be honest my heart was hard, I did not want to go to church again, I would have rather been asleep, and not riding in the back of a pickup truck in traffic listening to horns honk. I got to church and it was what I 
needed to hear yet again, God opened my heart, I started to feel better, and I became more joyful. He spoke to me saying today is a new day, if this is the day he comes do you want to be like this, or do you want to do doing His will, sharing how amazing he is, showing how much he loves us and sharing His grace and mercy with others. Do you want people to see that a Christian is someone who is miserable, unhappy, and cranky or someone who is loving, kind, patient, and full of joy. I knew what he was saying and I was being selfish, I was more concerned about myself and not Him.
Sunday was a true blessing, I learned a lot about me, who I am in Christ and who I need to be more. We also went to another church where I felt at home, we got to meet many Canadians, have dinner with them, and listen to their stories and share in fellowship together.
Going to bed that night God made it clear to me how selfish I am, how demanding I am and how I need to change. All I could do was laugh and say your right, I am selfish in so many ways, It needs to be less about me and more about Him we only have one life here on earth. I need to be more obsessed with God and not myself; I shouldn’t care about what I am doing if it is for the Kingdom. Weather it is street evangelism,
sitting in a service for the hundredth time, or playing with precious hearts at an orphanage. When He returns what do you want to be doing, something he wouldn’t approve of, or something where he can say ‘well done my good and faithful servant’. I have been praying the Lord would show me my hidden sin, sin that I don’t acknowledge, and to be completely broken, and that is exactly what he is doing, and it is not easy.
May they not rule over me.
