Ever since I got to Thailand it has been an emotional roller coaster. The second I walked into my hostel I have been extremely ticked off for absolutely no reason. Until I had a talk with one of the girls on a different team, and my team leader LaShon. Rebecca (the girl from the other team) was telling me how she has been feeling those same feelings. You wake up and just want to hit somebody. I never wake up that hateful…..ever. Rebecca also shared with me that there contact told them about territorial spirits that have major reins on this area, and anger is one of them. I'm so thankful for that conversation, because that lead to the one I had with LaShon. I was telling her about what Rebecca had told me and she reminded me that my anger isn't with the people. My anger comes from the spiritual battle we are in the mist of. As soon as that conversation was over all of the anger I have been feeling for the past three days was gone….. Completely.
The next day though our team went to this little cafe where some of our other squad mates are living and working and the emotional roller coaster began again. But this time all I wanted to do was cry. An overwhelming feeling of not being worthy and feeling less then everyone else in the room. I just wanted to curl up and ball my eyes out.
It was strange though because the second we left the cafe the feelings where gone. I didn't feel like crying, I didn't feel mad, I was actually kind of confused.
But God helped me figure it out….
Tonight my team was talking with Hailey (one of our squad leaders) and was telling us a story of how these racers witnessed a man dropping off this young girl who was about twelve and crying. She told us how they knew by what the man said that that little girl had just been sold for the first time….. My first thought was can you image how that little girl felt?…………..
Felt?…… Holy Crap I would be so mad and then so sad…….
I had a dream before we left Atlanta that I got sold into sex slavery by my friend. When I figured out what was going on I was furious then I cried….. Are you seeing the pattern here?
God gave me my dream ahead of time so that I would be prepared for the wall of emotions I was going to hit here.
These women might feel betrayed by whoever sold them, anger because it happened in the first place, unworthy, filthy, nasty, dirty, disguising, because of what they are going through. Some of these women don't have a choice and you can spot them a mile away.
They are the ones with empty eyes, broken smiles, and pain written on there faces……
What you can't see it?
Look harder…..
Look into there souls, feel the pain and suffering that they feel, don't judge a book by it cover. Thinking "Oh they brought this onto themselves….. NOOO!!!!
Some of these women were sold, or kidnapped! You don't know there story.
Just know that they need someone to hear there cries for help. They need to know that someone, anyone cares just a little bit.
Saddest part is that most people don't see them. The devil has blinded the eyes of those who live here. They don't see the truth even though it's right in front of there faces. It makes me wonder how obvious it is back home. What am I overlooking?
Pray for your eyes to be open to your surroundings. Pray that my eyes will be opened to mine and that I will know how to handle all of these wild emotions. Pray that God shows up in such a way that Trafficking is put to a stop. Pray that we know exactly what to say, exactly when it needs to be said, exactly when it need to be said……. Just please pray….
