This past weekend I went to a conference in Columbus called Dare 2 Share. It was awesome, but I had to face the fact that I have been trying so desperately to do this on my own. What I mean is I wasn't trusting that God could do a work in me that could change everything, the way I think, the way I see people, even the way I see myself. God has opened my eyes to the fact that I've been trying so hard to make him love me.
Which is a pretty stupid way of thinking. I thought well if I do this then God will definiently love me? (Not an actual thought process) Looking at it now that's what my actions were saying. The crazy part is God already Loves me and has loved me from the beginning. I knew this but I guess I didn't quite understand because my actions were saying something completely different.
I also learned that I can't evanglize to anybody without God helping me.
1: I am scared of people.What they think, what they might think, what they could think.
2: You can't God's work correctly without God! (how would you know how to talk to and what needs to be said?)
I was paralyzed by fear, to the point where it was controlling my life, in a way that I couldn't be used by God.
I know for a fact that God loves me and I don't have to be perfect for him to keep loving me, because Guess What? I can't ever be perfect so I'm not going to try and be perfect. I'm gonna do what I know to be right. Whether I'm liked me or not.
Why would I keep God's love a secret?
Because I'm scared of what someone will think? REALLY?
It's a free gift for everyone who believes that Jesus died for there sins. If I'm to scared to share because I don't want to be thought badly of, Then I'm just being selfish. This is Life forever, Or Death forever! For some people that might be hard to wrap there head around.
If God is life? Then everything apart from God is in complete and utter darkness, or death, because if you're not living you're dead!
God DOES Love you in more ways then you can image, He wants you, all of you, forever no matter what. But it won't be easy, he doesn't promise that we will be loved by everyone(aka Everone Loves Raymond syndrome), that everything will be perfect, or that you will be rich and famous. He promised that you will be taken care of and you get to spend eterinty with him. The greatest love story ever told and It's real!!!
I've learned in very simple terms "LET GO AND LET GOD!" That's the best way to explain it. Just let go….. Let go of the drama, Let go of having to have approval by everyone and Let God just pour out his mercy, forgiveness, and love. YOU have already been approved by God. He wants to take away you're pains and fears. And gives you something better, he wants to do life with you! How cool is that? The God of the universe wants to do life with us! That's pretty awesome if you ask me!
