Ok so I've been trying to actually let everyone know how I was called to this mission, but eveytime I start it ends up being somthing completely different. SO I will try this one more time. Here we go…
I was baptized when I was about eight years old, I grew up in church so I have "Head Knowledge" (for those of you who don't know that means I understand exactly what my sunday school teachers were saying.) but I didn't fully understand everything until much later. When I was ten years old or so our church got a new youth pastor, he was by far the coolest person me and my siblings ever met. He taught us how to play warball (aka dodgeball) but most importantly he taught us about how deeply God loves us and wants us the be with him. Still at the time it didn't really mean a lot. I was a teenage girl who wanted to get the boys attention… well sorta… I never really liked putting on makeup and dressing nice. I'm so much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. Back on track now….. There was this one camp our youth pastor took us too, and I can't remember every bit of this service but at the end I guy speaking asked if anyone wanted to make a commitment to God with missions, or leading worship. I felt the pull to go, but I didn't. From that day on I always thought that I was going to be this great worship leader. I mean that made perfect since I love music and worship was always my favorite part of the trips.
A few years later I graduated from High school with a degree in health care. I was going to be a phelobotomist, which by the way I loved that. A couple years later I had let my degree in phlebotomy go and started working at curves as fitness trainer, which is really funny because I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. Another weird thing was that it was a Christian place but I wasn't allowed to talk about Christ???? I did anyways, because it was a christian based place and you just can't make me shut up sometimes. SO I finally got out of that place mainly because I was always depressed. There was never anybody who came to work out, and when there was I had to stand in the middle and instruct them. Curves wasn't always bad, because I actually started studying God word more closely. The next thing I knew I was quiting there, because I got a better job at Desco Federal Credit Union. (it's not a bank, just to make that clear) I thought Curves was bad, I went from barely working to working all the time. They were nice most of the time, but I do have to admit that I had a lot of growing up to do. That next year I had the opportunity to go on another retreat to the beach. Although sitting here trying to remember that week and the only thing I can remember is the last day which was the most important. They were talking about missions! I was always kinda interested but didn't think a whole lot and it. Anyways the speaker David Platt was speaking and he was talking about this organization called Servant Life he played a video and asked if there was anybody who felt like they were being called to missions to talk to there youth pastor. This time I knew and Actually told Eric (aka youth pastor) so we prayed and thanked God for revealing part of his plan for me. I was 21 years old at the time. We came home and I was praying that God would open up the doors for me to go on this mission trip and have someone to go with me. ( for anyone who doesn't know me very well I don't like being alone) Then one day at work while I was praying this woman came in, whom I've never seen before and haven't seen since, she was talking about a mission trip around the world for 11 months. So I asked her a few questions, she wrote down the website for me and was gone. I went home that evening looked it up and signed up a few days later. I didn't pray about it just thought it was supposed to happen since the information just dropped in my lap the way it did, I didn't get in.
Then in 2011 I got a chance to go on a youth trip to the beach again. By then I had come to that point that everyone gets to where you have to decide which side of the fence you are walking on. I mean if I was going to be completely sold out to God or just be another comfortable christian showing up for church every sunday morning and wednesday night services. Deep down I knew what chioce I needed, but I was still being very selfish and wanted to control everything. Well the first night at the conference the speaker Louie Giglio started speaking he told everyone that he felt God leading to give an invitation at the very beginning (which usually doesn't happen until the second or three night.) So he simply asked if there was anyone who wanted to commit everything completely to God. Once again I felt the pull to stand and did not. After that week I felt completely and totally ashamed of myself for being such a coward toward God. The only one who has ever really ment anything to me. I struggled for a long time with the fact that I needed to let go of everything and let God lead. I struggled with this battle for months and finally one day standing on the stage at the church preparing for the solo I was going to sing the next day, God grabbed a hold of me in a way that I really have a hard time explaining. All I know is my mother kept telling me just let go, your not giving everything to God. I knew she was talking about singing, but it was like God was telling me through her "Let me handle this, you don't have to try and control anything anymore." That day I gave God everything I had been holding on to for years. After that day nothing felt right, like I wasn't were I was ment to be. So I prayed and prayed and finally this past January while sitting at work in the silence I remembered about the world race! That I can only explain as God, because I'm the type of person that If I try once and fail…. I quit…. yeah not the best quality I'm sure. Once again I started looking into it and actually praying this time and here I am. I got in and don't have that feeling of not being worth it. I still get scared sometimes, but I know God has something great in store for my life and it took him waking me up to realize the time is now. He been molding me all these years to be part of something bigger then myself. To be apart of God team, and I can honestly say even though I'm scared to death at times. There is no place I would rather be, then in the hands of God.
