I loved routine.
I loved structure.
I loved discipline.
I always had a plan. A plan for the day, for the 
weekend, the month, the next year. Up to about two years in advance, I had a general idea of what I was doing and where I was going. Sure God could change those plans, but I won’t lie, it was always a fight getting me to change the plan. As long as I knew what I was doing, when I was doing it, life was good, I was in control and there were no surprises.
weekend, the month, the next year. Up to about two years in advance, I had a general idea of what I was doing and where I was going. Sure God could change those plans, but I won’t lie, it was always a fight getting me to change the plan. As long as I knew what I was doing, when I was doing it, life was good, I was in control and there were no surprises.
While I was on the Race I was stretched everyday because I didn’t know the plan. I wanted to know every detail of our team finances, what our ministry was for the day, where we would be next month. I often got frustrated when plans changed (as the inevitably, and often do on the race) and I dreamed of the day I could get back into my routine, gain control of my life and have some structure again.
However, I’ve been back for almost eight months (wow), I’m here in Ga, not really sure exactly what God is doing and I still haven’t gotten any set routine down. Daily I get thrown surprises and plans change, and I’m strangely ok with it. I know I’m going to Haiti for the summer, but after that, who knows where I’ll be. The more I work on this whole trusting and letting go
controlling the world around me, the more I’m realizing I’m actually
very spontaneous and rather laid back. As a kid I remember being
incredibly carefree, almost to the point it was dangerous; you called
them strangers, I called them friends I have yet to meet. I can now see
where over the years my insecurities and mistrusts led me to this
controlling nature.
controlling the world around me, the more I’m realizing I’m actually
very spontaneous and rather laid back. As a kid I remember being
incredibly carefree, almost to the point it was dangerous; you called
them strangers, I called them friends I have yet to meet. I can now see
where over the years my insecurities and mistrusts led me to this
controlling nature.
I
‘ve been helping two friends figure out God’s plan for their futures. Neither of them have any definite answers, but the words they both keep getting are trust, abide, and be patient. God has it all figured out. I find that as God is showing these friends how to trust in his future plans, he is reiterating the same fact in me and showing me how far he’s brought me in this. I still have moments where I want some answers and make some plans, but I remember much quicker now that if I really trust God, and if I am completely focused on Him, life kind of figures itself out. God will get me to where I need to be and I can enjoy the ride instead of fretting over the details.
‘ve been helping two friends figure out God’s plan for their futures. Neither of them have any definite answers, but the words they both keep getting are trust, abide, and be patient. God has it all figured out. I find that as God is showing these friends how to trust in his future plans, he is reiterating the same fact in me and showing me how far he’s brought me in this. I still have moments where I want some answers and make some plans, but I remember much quicker now that if I really trust God, and if I am completely focused on Him, life kind of figures itself out. God will get me to where I need to be and I can enjoy the ride instead of fretting over the details.
I like the Steph on this side of the race. I enjoy the spontaneity, the fun and the relaxed attitude I have now. I just hope and pray that when it comes time to making a big decision and I need answers, I will maintain this new reality and trust that even to the last minute, God is faithful.
