These three simple words leaped off the screen as I read my WhatsApp message.
“I feel saved…”
My eyes instantly welled up.
I’ll start by admitting that I‘m not a huge fan of how the term “saved” is sometimes abused in Christianese lingo. I guess it’s mostly because I’ve witnessed it used as an exclusive title that comes with an infamous sense of superiority. My disdain comes when being “saved” is used as an excuse to judge others and elevate oneself to a level that I can’t imagine God honors. Of course this is not the case or intention of most believers. By the true essence of the term, I do consider myself saved so don’t get me wrong. But there’s danger when we allow the claim of salvation override the sacrifice of truly living it out. Or when it is used to reject and outcast those who have not yet arrived. So with this, I generally steer away from specifically saying that “I’m saved”.
But this instance was different. The three words were sent by my older brother, Jonathan, who has been on the top of my prayer list for years. I could tell this was not a pretentious claim of salvation though; this was a genuine revelation that something changed in his heart. I knew this did not come from a regurgitated prayer in a large auditorium, but a true feeling that God is transforming his life.
Jonathan’s faith journey has been an absolute joy to be a part of over the past few years. To give a little background, he has always been a big thinker and a bit of a skeptic. He does not settle for simple answers and gives careful consideration to everything he does. When it comes to faith, he has been seeking answers and refuses to let anyone else own his personal journey; I truly admire that about him. And in the midsts of his somewhat stubborn and meticulous quest, he is beginning to arrive at a place with the Lord that is raw and extremely special.
Like Jacob, Jonathan has wrestled with God over the years. From my seat by the ring, the only thing God has told me to do is pray. To simply trust Him while allowing Jonathan to explore the cosmos and have his own journey. This was hard for me at first because I have a tendency to intervene and take matters into my own hands. I could have tried creating eloquent arguments as to why Jonathan should accept Jesus into His heart a long time ago, but that was never my job. My only job was to pray for him.
Jonathan has been one of my biggest encouragers throughout my journey on the World Race. He knows how much I love music so each month he creates a new playlist tailored to music that combines both his and my taste. Each month has a specific topic and creating the playlists inspired him to start blogging about why he selected each song. So everyday he writes a new blog about each selection, why he chose it, and how it relates to either my journey or his. Isn’t that the sweetest thing?!
Anyway, April’s playlist was entitled “The Ride to Salvation” and it features his own creative interpretation of how God has been revealing Himself in Jonathan’s life. His writing throughout the blog is plain, concise, and extremely honest.
Jonathan has been clear about how my trip has affected him. I never in a million years would have imagined that me traveling around the world would play such a major role in his faith journey, but that’s exactly the point. I could not think this up myself, but God did! He’s always a million steps ahead of me. He’s always working for the good.
Now, back to those three words. What touched me most about Jonathan’s text was the word “feel”. We can easily get sucked into the motions of salvation by saying the prayer, getting dunked, then eventually veering right back to old ways if our seeds fell by the wayside or were choked up by thorns. But, that was never Jesus’s intention. He wants us planted in good, rich, fertile soil. So I believe He honors the quest—that gives Him time to dig deeper roots that will eventually bear the juiciest fruit. Roots of a really solid friendship (John 15:15).
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’”
Matthew 7:21-23 NKJV
It’s a change in our hearts that Jesus is looking for. A willingness to genuinely seek Him and surrender our lives to His will. To love Him and submit that same love to those around us. In my opinion, He could care less about whether or not we literally claim to be “saved” and is much more concerned about how our hearts are coming into alignment with His. That’s not something we can work towards, it’s something we feel. You don’t earn feelings, they just choose to come—much like salvation. We didn’t choose Jesus, He chose us (John 15:16).
Jonathan, you are on a road to the greatest faith adventure you could ever imagine. As long as you keep seeking the Father with an earnest heart, the more He’ll reveal His heart in you. I love you big bro, you inspire me.
Instead of just claiming to be saved, let’s begin to actually feel it and do something about it. It’s an everyday decision to submit to the will of God—not a one and done deal. Let’s start living like each day presents a new opportunity to feel saved.
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QUICK LIFE UPDATE
I’m posting this from Escazu, Costa Rica where I have been debriefing the last 7 months with my squad. Moving into month 8, I’m blown away by how much transformation I’ve seen in myself and my squadmates, it’s unreal. I’ve been in Latin America for a month and if you know anything about me, you know I am THRIVING! I love it here and I’m not even kidding, I believe the Holy Spirit has skyrocketed the intermediate level of Spanish speaking skills I thought I had coming in. I’ve been translating, praying over people, and walking friends through deep healing…all in Spanish. It’s been so special.
This month I’ll be moving around a lot but no complaints, Costa Rica is my favorite place ever (I’ve been here twice before). Anyway, I’m excited for what’s to come this month!
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Thanks for following along!
Much Love <3
IG: @stellaagee
YouTube: Stella Udeozor
