It all started with a morning jog.
Last month for ministry, I lived just by the beautiful Pacific Ocean in Panama. I decided I’d seize the opportunity to watch the sunrise on the beach every other day. So, I’d wake up at 5:30 AM, go for a light jog, and spend time in prayer and meditation by the ocean—hours would pass by instantly. It was truly transformative. It felt like I was hearing from God more clearly than ever before. I laughed, I cried, I danced.
One day I went for a jog, and I came back to find a street dog had gotten into the trash we carelessly left on the porch. Instead of allowing it to ruin the good start to my day, I decided to pick it up and walk it to the garbage disposal at our host’s house. On my way back, there was a woman on her front porch gleefully waving her hand and hollering for my attention.
Instantly, a friendship ignited.
Deb scurried over to open the lime green fence that wrapped around her and her husband, Brad’s, new Panamanian home. She invited me in for coffee and the moment I entered her house, I knew I was home.
Within moments, Deb’s curiosity and warm heart created a safe space for me to share the deepest parts of my story that I wouldn’t normally share with any stranger. In return, she opened up about her wounds and together we connected on a level that I haven’t experienced on the Race thus far.
The irony in it all: Deb is a 64 year old, white, retired engineer from Washington State. Me, a 25 year old, black, video producer from the opposite end of the U.S. And there we were, together in Panama sipping on hot instant coffee. The world would surely label us as opposites and assume we wouldn’t share many commonalities—but I must beg to differ.
Throughout the month, Deb and I bonded over attempting to make “exotic” Yuca patties with our own twist, entertaining the children in our neighborhood, beers at Johnny Fiesta’s by the beach, watching Gandhi with the team, card games, sharing funny stories, Deb’s specialty Jalopeño margaritas, peeing on grass, giving medicine to street dogs, picking up trash around the block, arm wrestling, our passion for homeless ministry (P.S. Deb is freakin amazing), plank competitions (which she totally whipped my butt at), and the list goes on.
While morning jogs on the beach and meditating on scripture were opening my eyes to discovering more of my calling—simultaneously, building a relationship with Deb helped entice my desire to start dreaming again. The way she’d tilt her head and observe the world around her with an unyielding sense of awe reminded me of young Stella—curious and slightly odd.
Deb gave me a free space to express. To open up about how I truly feel about many hot topics in the world today, no filter.
On our last night, Deb and Brad took us out for a going away celebration and Deb said something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Though I can’t quote her verbatim, she expressed that before we met she would have called herself a bible banging atheist, but now we helped open her eyes, soften her heart, and deconstructed her perception towards Christians.
And the feelings are mutual. Before we met, I was on the brink of calling it quits and abandoning Christianity altogether because of doubts I was having. But Deb allowed me to fully express my truth—free of judgment, free of expectations. I didn’t try to change her, she didn’t try to change me. We just shared our lives and in doing so, we made each other stronger.
Could it be that God put Deb in my life at the exact right time, in the exact right location, for the exact right purpose. It is fate? Is it the stars aligning? Is it D: All of the Above? I’m not quite sure but I do know meeting Deb was meant to be. She’s become like a mom, amongst many women in my life. We now have a relationship that I believe will last through distance and time.
The day we met, I came home telling everyone that I had found my soulmate. Sounds dramatic, I know. But I’m starting to notice there are many people in my life who when our souls met, there was a deep connection—like branches on a Great Oak. Deb, I’m so honored to have you on my family tree!
The last few years have been extremely trying for me, but the people in my life have helped me through it. While I cherish my direct family and can’t imagine life without them, Deb reminds me that family extends beyond blood. Since meeting her, I have started to write lists of all the women, men, peers, and loved ones that have made an impact in my life. I’m reconnecting with many friends that I haven’t spoken with in years! It is extremely valuable to have a relational network of people you can call when life gets hard.
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Thank you so much for reading and following along my journey!
Much Love,
Stella
IG: @stellaagee
YouTube: Stella Udeozor
