I’ve never been asked so much if I’m married. Seriously, in Lesotho it was often the question immediately following ‘What‘s your name’. The first Sunday my team introduced ourselves at church, we each had to individually say if we were married or not. The 19 of us skittishly professed our singleness, one by one. Thus, the topic of marriage was on my heart last month like never before.
I have walked through heartbreak, confusion, deception, and shame in the area of relationships. A couple years back, I honestly had no idea what I wanted and often found myself settling. I believe God is rewriting that story and is preserving my heart for someone special. A man who recognizes my full value and loves me through whatever life’s challenges present. But I had to get there for myself, first. I had to be fully secure in myself before being ready for a relationship.
So this is a letter to my future husband. Inspired by my favorite artist, Tori Kelly, I wanted to write to you, whoever you are. Making this public is somewhat terrifying. To be honest I’m not entirely sure why I’m even posting this, but here it goes…
DISCLAIMER: This is not an eHarmony profile or a desperate attempt to find my husband so please don’t DM me…unless you’re beautiful.
Dear No One,
Hi, my name is Stella-Georgina. I was named after my beautiful mother, Stella, and dad, George, so the fam calls me Stella-G. I’m 24 and currently on this crazy adventure called the World Race. Basically I’m traveling around the world with 38 people and doing mission work for a year; so far it’s been life changing. I’m in my 5th month out of 11 right now and each day I’m learning a little more about myself.
I’ve been thinking about you lately, praying for you. Not necessarily to meet you, but like really for you. For your heart, success, family. And if I’m being honest, I still wonder if you even exists. I have a strong feeling that you do. But before we meet, there are a few things I’d like to discuss…
I’m extremely independent and passionate, I love chocolate, as much as I hate to admit I’m a wee bit boujee, and sometimes at night I get a little slap happy and do weird things like sing opera off-pitch. Some people call me a free spirit (whatever that means). I guess because I love going on spontaneous adventures and I’m learning to not care what people think of me. Clearly I love to travel and I’m secretly hoping eres de América Latina ????. I love feel good music…you know, the kind that makes you feel like the lyrics were written directly for you. I also have a crazy sweet tooth, hence the chocolate. Fudge, brownies, cookies, ice cream, you name it.
I’ve walked through a lot of pain in my life, but I believe it only makes me stronger. I have a big heart, so please, protect it. My family means the world to me; and fair warning, we’re a little crazy…..well, maybe more than a little. But when you meet them, you’ll fall in love. Guaranteed. I want kids, maybe a lot. And if you’re not interested in adoption, this might not work.
In the past 3 years, God has rewired my heart. We went back and forth, and He won. He taught me about my value, that I’m worth waiting for until marriage, no exceptions. I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you. I was once entangled in lies about sexuality but together God and I have broken through the walls that shame built around my heart.
I’m madly in love with Jesus. He comes first, before anything else in my life. He guides my decisions, my career, my heart. I believe marriage is meant to mirror the relationship we have with Him. That two become one flesh as a symbol of our union with Christ. I hope we can be on the same page about this, it means everything to me.
I may not know you, but I know who you are. I know you are a protector and highly ambitious. You’re not afraid to take the minority position and make hard decisions. Your heart is kind and you go out of your way, just to make others smile. You’re a man who knows what he wants out of life, and what he’s willing to give in return. You like to have fun and you’re not too good to dance in the rain or do something strange for a piece of change…something legal and that doesn’t compromise your dignity. If that’s not who you are now, I’m praying it’s who you’re becoming. I know who I am becoming for us.
I recognize you’re not perfect, and I trust me, I’m not either. But I’m ready to fumble through life with you and have a lot of fun in the process. I have big dreams, I hope you’re ready to dream with me.
Much Love,
Stella-G.
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Thank you so much for reading and following along my journey!
Much Love,
Stella
IG: @stellaagee
YouTube: Stella Udeozor
