The past week has been a little hard for me. I have been reflecting on my month in Cambodia a lot and the word that keeps coming to mind is “defeated.” I don’t want this to all end up sounding like a sob st0ry, but I had a hard month. I was sick for almost a whole week and after that it was really hard for me to bounce back. On top of that, I felt like I lost all of my energy. I felt unmotivated, beat down and overall a disappointing person. I was always feeling like I am not doing enough..I am not ministering enough or am not a good enough friends to these kids. I am not involved enough, giving of myself enough or touching enough lives. I constantly felt inadequate and that was a frustrating feeling for me. I feel poured out and like I have nothing more to give. I say all this to beg your prayers. We are heading into out 10th month out here, and I am in a big need of a 1oth wind! We fly to China next week and I don’t want to start another month of ministry feeling the way I do right now. And I know satan will take every opportunity he can to get us down. So I am climbing out of this and just ask for you to stand with me and fight against the schemes of the enemy. I refuse to let him have victory because ultimately, it is OURS! But truly, sometimes life can be hard.
I don’t feel dismal about our whole month in Cambodia, however! I made some amazing friends in the church with many of the youth. And I am thankful to all of you guys who took us in and loved on us. The night before we left Phnom Penh, I was up until 3am thinking about you guys and wishing I could just take you all with me. I love you sweet folk of New Life Church and you made me smile, even during my hard month:
To: Panna (sorry if that is spelled wrong!) Your smile is Jesus. Thanks for making me and my team feel welcome and for making me laugh!
To: Pisit and your lovely wife…You are an amazing couple and dedicated followers of the Lord. Keep being a light to those youth and thank you for all you did for us.
To: Sweet Danielle and Katie..wish we had more time together! You are both incredibly beautiful, vibrant women with dreams and passions I didn’t even have when I was your age. I am excited to see what God will do with both of you as you continue to follow him. Miss you!! Hugs!
To: Everyone who always so graciously gave us rides home on their personal motos. You guys saved the day!
To: All the youth at New Life. You truly are a stellar group of youth and I have NEVER seen a bunch so passionate about following the Lord. You made me laugh so hard, you taught me how to speak Khmer and you hung out with me..I MISS YOU THE MOST and will never forget you.
To: Mark…you are a hilarious guy and I loved talking with you. You are an enthusiastic guy and other people follow you. See you on facebook, my friend! ha!
To: T.R. You are a rock star. From the first day until the last you were a great friend to me and my group and I am so excited about what God has for you. Your musical ability is astounding and I know you will do great things for the Kingdom. And that hair…wow. I love it! Love you, buddy!
To: The girls at the dorm…my night with you all was a highlight in Cambodia for me. Thank you for the delicous food and for loving us. You are all so beautiful!
To: Soria and Hak. I had to save the best for last! ha! You two were like my litle rays of sunshine. I love you and miss you and I have only been gone three days. Thanks for befriending us so quickly and for all the laughs. You are both mighty men of God and just plain cool guys to be around.
Goodbye dear, sweet friends! I won’t forget you.
