We are now at the half point of our year…crazy!
When asked if I have changed this year, my reply is always no.
If you and I were to go out to coffee you would still find the same Stacy; goofy, loving and passionate about the nations, working with orphans, widows and prostitutes.
We would joke around and still have the same heart to heart talks.
I haven’t changed into a different person.
However, I believe God is stripping me this year of everything that has built up over the years of my life revealing the core of who He has made me.
With every passing day, God is pruning me down.
It isn’t a matter of making a 180 degree turn from my life prior to the World Race.
But it is more a refining process He is bringing me through.
One of the things he has surfaced in me as a part of this whittling down has been my gifts.
Some gifts are given to us upon receiving Christ as our Savior and some are talents and abilities he gives us at birth.
I grew up in a very musical family.
We all sing and play instruments and coming on this trip, I anticipated singing some songs and it being just a minor part of my experience on this trip.
However, God had a different plan.
He has transformed the talent I have for singing into a gift of healing.
I know…it is as much of a mystery and shock to me as it probably sounds to you too.
However, I have found that there is a distinction.
I don’t quite know how to explain it, but this year God has taken my voice away from me.
When I open my mouth to sing, the Spirit falls and takes over my voice and people are ministered to and healed emotionally and quite possibly physically as well.
I remember back in Mexico, we were in a house of a man who was not saved and you could sense a dark, spiritual oppression.
There was bondage in his life and I felt my heart pounding outside my chest.
I knew the Lord wanted me to sit at his feet and sing to him.
Later on, Jimmy told me that as I sang, he literally saw a huge angel with wings that spread from one end of the room to the other.
It was an angel of Peace and as I sang, it hovered over me.
I don’t think I realized even then that these past six months would be filled with those moments.
For so long, I have allowed fear to drive this gifting.
When called out to sing, I would become embarrassed.
What if people judge me?
What if they think I am only singing out of arrogance?
What if I am arrogant?
What if I take this gift and claim it as my own instead of sharing it in a truly God-honoring way?
Whenever I start singing, I feel the enemy attack me and therefore I don’t obey the command God has given me to share that word through song with people.
On this trip, I have been told several times that the voice the Lord has given me is an agent of healing and not simply a talent.
Now I must learn to walk in that.
Understand this; nothing the Lord has entrusted to me is my own.
I don’t write this out of pride.
In fact, I had to force myself to write these very words so you can continue to pray for me this year.
I know God has something huge in store for me.
I have been told by godly men that thousands will drop to their knees and confess Jesus Christ as Lord as I listen to the Lord, obey his voice, and sing the Lord’s healing over people.
As I meditated on this calling, God gave me a Scripture from 2 Timothy 1.
Paul is exhorting his dear friend Timothy.
Timothy had the gift of preaching but had come under opposition by different authorities.
Paul encouraged him to not stop as a result of what other people thought of him.
If he did, that would neutralize his effectiveness in ministry.
So Paul said to him, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
He goes on to say that we need not be ashamed of the testimony God gave us because we have a holy calling that is not of our own works but because of the purpose and grace of the Lord.
Wow!
For so long, I have operated in fear when it came to my gifts.
But He has given me a new song and I no longer live under fear.
Pray for me as I learn what it means to walk in this and be encouraged if you struggle with the same thing.
If you have had confirmation of your gifts, walk in them and do not fear!
They are not your own, they are from the Lord and you must share them for the edification of the body of Christ.
