In tenth grade, a really good friend of mine went to
Guatemala for a short missions trip over Spring Break. When he came back he
told me all about how he spent a week ministering to people who literally lived
in a huge garbage dump. He said they woke up every morning and spent most of
the day rummaging through piles upon piles of trash hoping to find food or
anything of use. This struck me deep. How can someone live in a dump? Of course
I’ve heard of stuff like this and even seen it on TV but my own friend going
there and experiencing it somehow brought everything to a reality for me. I remember
that night saying that I’d really like to go on a missions trip some day.
Unfortunately I soon forgot about that moment and the people who live in the
dump field. I think it was in twelfth grade that there were a series of “missions”
moments for me. We had this Missions week at my church where a bunch of
missionaries came and shared what they’re doing around the world. Each person
that shared all of a sudden captured my entire attention. A few of the videos
they shared brought me to tears. And I’m not talking about just those tears you
shed and soon forget. I’m talking, I was in my chair bawling, and I couldn’t
understand why I was so gripped. All the while, God was softening me…He was
breaking my heart for the impoverished. For the ones who don’t know Him. A few weeks later I go to a huge youth
conference and they were advertising a missions program they had going on. Without
even thinking about it, I raised my hand and asked for an information packet. For
weeks after I kept thinking about missions. That summer before starting college
I visited my family in Romania for a month and while I was there the Lord began
to reveal Himself to me like I hadn’t experienced before. I can’t remember what
I was reading or praying but there were nights where I would stay up and read
The Word for hours and then I would just cry to sleep because my heart was so
tender. I didn’t know then what the heck was going on, but all I could cry is “Jesus,
I want more of you. Whatever you want for my life, do it.”
on to start college in the Fall and I kept having those moments in the night
where I would cry uncontrollably. I would continue looking at these missions
programs and I would literally cry out of desperation to allow God to let me go
overseas and change the world. Gosh, I was ambitious. Then, there was my
defining moment. I realized that though I felt the Lord was obviously placing
missions on my heart, I never specifically talked to Him about it. That night,
I cried more than before and I told God that where He would send me I would
follow. Anywhere. I asked Him for the nations as my inheritance (Psalm 2:8) and
most importantly I said that I would wait on Him. I didn’t want to go on my own
time, but in His perfect timing. This is getting long but kind of a nutshell of
my four years in college after this was God showing me that I’m first a
missionary to the United States. To Florida. To my family. Wherever I step
foot, that is where I am a missionary; his ambassador. He’s shown me how to be
a servant and how to put others above myself. Believe me, I’m still working on
that but He is definitely humbling me. I don’t know what to expect in my future
missionary goals but one thing I am certain of is that I want to spend the rest
of my life falling in love with Christ, whatever the cost. I want to share that
perfect love with those who haven’t yet experienced it, and I want to see God
totally transform them. That is seriously the coolest thing, ever.
