At the start of the summer, one of the influential voices in my life told me to pray about going back on the World Race -this time as leader. My initial reaction was "heck no!" I'm feeling pretty settled and happy about life right now, thank you very much. But something in my spirit jumped. I knew I had to pray about it now. If I'm honest, it brought up a lot of insecurity and fear in me. Going on the World Race in the first place was a huge deal; but leading and being responsible spiritually, emotionally, and physically for a squad of 60 people is a little overwhelming to say the least!
So I've spent a lot of time freaking out and crying lately. Some of the people that I love and trust don't think it's a good idea and there is no way I'm strong enough, bold enough, prophetic enough, fill-in-the-blank enough. Surely, I'm going to fail.
And the truth is, aside from God's spirit inside of me, all those things are true. I am weak and not enough. But as I've wrestled through these last few months with the Lord about squad leading, He's been so sweet and so, so faithful. What I've heard Him whisper to me is, my child, you are enough.
And slowly, over these last four months as I've been praying about this, God has laid to rest those fears and insecurities. I feel like I've heard so clearly from Him that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing in this next season. Not because if I don't do this, I'd be stepping out of His will; but because it's an invitation. An invitation for me to step out and be stretched more than I ever have in my entire life. An invitation to walk out the giftings He's placed inside of me. To fight for this group of people and see His love transform and redeem. To serve. To die to myself over and over again. To see His Kingdom come even more on this earth. This is exactly what I'm living for.
So that's the news. At the beginning of January, I will go back out on the field to Squad Lead. I will be leading about 60-65 of my peers on the World Race. They will go out for 11 months, and I will join them for the first four months (to Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Thailand). At that point I, along with my co-leaders, Vanessa and Joel, will raise up new squad leaders to take our place and continue on. We'll go back to visit the squad for their mid-point and final debriefs. This is truly one of the hardest, yet most exciting and humbling decisions I've ever made!
I need to raise $6,000 to Squad Lead.
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