I went to the zoo this weekend with some friends of mine, and at the zoo, there is this place called the reptile house. I’m not sure if you know this, but there are lots of snakes inside the reptile house. Now, I’m ok with snakes, as long as there is a thick sheet of glass separating us. No glass = no go in my world. So we walk up to the first snake, and my friend looks at it, turns to me and says “look Stace! This snake is venomous, and look! It lives in Africa, RIGHT WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” and then proceeded to laugh at me. Be jealous: my friends are incredibly encouraging and supportive. So we went to the next cage. Venomous, and right where I’m going in Africa. The next snake, same story but this time in Central America. Snake after snake after venomous snake lives right where I will be traveling. (It is important to note that there was exactly one non-venomous snake where I’ll be, but that’s ok, because it likes to wrap itself around its victim’s neck and strangle it).
<– This is me at the zoo being attacked by a snake. Notice the Keyna and Tanzania signs in the background. Completely unintentional. Rather ironic.
So I decided to do a little research on the snakes that I will be encountering. Here is what I have found:
– The Black Mamba is one of the top 5 most venomous snakes in the world. In a single bite, it can kill up to 25 people. Makes sense, right? Wrong. I’m pretty sure that this means that not only do I have to worry about not getting bit, but I can’t be one of the 24 people standing next to someone who does. Death by association. Apparently that’s a thing.
– The Black Mamba can reach speeds of 12mph. In college, I ran a 400 in 57 seconds. So we’ll say about a minute. Which, is about 15 mph. So.. I could outrun it for a 400, when I was in college, before I tore my hamstring. Now: I just have to outrun the slowest 25 people.
– The Boomslang is “timid but spectacular”. Spectacular? Seriously? Not my word, but ok. Without treatment, a bite might “cause you to bleed from every orifice.” Lovely. Just what I always wanted.
– Whoever wikipedia hired to write the snake articles is apparently in love with them. Not only is the Boomslang spectacular, but the snakes in Central America are “fantastically beautiful”.
– There is no such thing as a poisonous snake. Only a venomous snake. Poison has to be swallowed. Though… doesn’t that mean a snake can be poisonous if you swallow it?
I would write more, but Nero just informed me I’ve reached my limit on random facts for the day. So I will close with this… Jesus knew 2000 years ago that I would be encountering thousands of snakes on my journey. So he wrote me a little bit of comfort: “And these signs will accompany those who believe: … they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all…” (Mark 16:17-18).
All in all, the reptile house was an eye opening and comical experience. I’m just glad we didn’t venture into the insect house.
*Side note: it took me five tries to spell venomous, and I eventually had to look it up.
