How many times do you holdback because of the fear of getting hurt? I know after being hurt so many times, either physically or emotionally, I have gotten into the habit of just holding back. Allowing fear of the unknown to control how I will live and what to do next. But is this really living the way God intended us to? Or how he would wants us to live?
The other day I woke up super early in the morning to go watch the sunrise and standing there at the edge of the ocean I started to have an inner debate with myself. I really wanted to go swimming in the ocean but first, I was not wearing a bathing suit, second, I did not want to have my clothes cling to me because I am still not fully confident in my body, and third, what about sharks (one of my greatest fears since a kid). Finally I was like why am I even thinking about this? Why don’t I just live a little? Why do I let the fear of this world and what others think effect me so much? How many times have I allowed fear to stop me from just living life?
So I went back to my bag and took off my glasses and walked back to the water and just kept walking straight into it. One of my teammates was out deep in the water and I just swam out there to her pushing the fears out of my mind. Once I reached her I faced another fear I have slowly been getting over and that is just being completely honest and vulnerable in telling her about the debate I was having with myself. And this started an incredible conversation about how much we allow fear to run our lives and how it goes against what God wants for us.
I have really started to notice the switch in me over the race in having those debates with myself to live. I can see how God is showing me there is so much out there for me, I just have to be brave and kick the fear out of my mind. Fear is a way for Satan to come in and prevent us from living the life God truly has for us and enjoying God’s adventures set in front of us. I do not want to live in fear of what can or cannot happen. What kind of life is that? I know God did not call me to a life of holding back or being in fear of this world and the people in it. So I am not going to hold back anymore out of fear of getting hurt.
There have been so many times on the race where I have had these moments and God has shown me each time to just do it. For example this month, I was fearfully of riding a bike on the crazy roads of Da Nang but once I was doing it I could feel the peace that God had given me and His protection. Or the morning at the beach, I went out there and spent the morning floating with my eyes closed in the middle of the ocean, just soaking in the amazing creation our God made. In Banos, I went waterfall rappelling and then at the end doing jumping off the giant one and trusting that this guy was going to catch me. And looking back I see more clearly how God has been helping me walk through freedom of fear and just living life the way He wants me to and planned for me.
I plan from this day forward to never allow fear of getting hurt to hold me back from trying something new or a crazy adventure or telling someone how I feel or wearing my heart on my sleeve. I want to live the life God has set before me and fully trust in His plan. Yes, there are going to be times that I am going to get hurt but I know that God will be right there beside me holding my hand. He is good, no matter what. And what He has for me is better than anything I could imagine. I just have to live life focused on Him and not on the fear Satan wants me to buy into. He will do anything to prevent us from following God and I don’t have time for that. As most say ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that!’
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” -Romans 8:28
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will straighten you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” -Psalm 56:3-4
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the would cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” -John 14:27
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:7
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9
