Two days before we were suppose to be heading to Kathmandu, Nepal for debrief it was hit with a devastating 7.9 earthquake and we were sure that we would no longer be coming to Nepal. But right when we thought that door was closed God opened it back up and I was so excited because I wanted to come here and pour love over the Nepali people. I had no clue that it would alter my life and make me lose the one thing I felt safe and confident in.
Once we got to Nepal our first ministry was going out to the areas of Kathmandu that were hit the hardest and handing food and water out to those living in ‘tents.’ It broke my heart seeing these people living with nothing and the pain they were wearing from losing their homes and family members. We found out that on Monday we would be heading to one of the villages that was hit the hardest and I could not wait to go and help these people. Monday came and we got on that bus for a three hour drive to Melchour and as we were getting closer I could feel my heart shattering for the Nepali people because all I saw was home after home after home caved in and crumbling. Finally we got there and started our hike down the side of the mountain to the church that had been destroyed from the earthquake. It was not an easy hike and I was like, this is never gong to end but then I saw the faces of the people we passed just filled with big smiles and kids walking beside us, I even had a little girl hand me a balloon. I was in love with them all instantly and the view of the mountains and God’s incredible creation. When we arrived at where we would be camping, I was in awe-struck by the view and broken for the church that lay in rumbles near us.
That night I fell asleep to some of my squadmates worshipping and I have to say it was one of the best ways to fall asleep. During the night there were a couple of aftershocks that I felt and to me they seemed pretty strong but then again I had not felt any of the ones in Kathmandu before hand. In the morning I woke up to the most incredible view and the Nepali people had made some fresh tea. My morning was filled with hellos and hugs from squadmates and sitting on the side of a mountain taking in God’s breathtaking creation. We started working on moving the bricks and stones from the rumble to organized piles on the lower level and removing the tin roof and placing them to the side. The pastor’s wife needed help cooking lunch, so I went to help her. I spent the morning learning how to peel potatoes with the end of a spoon, washing rice, cutting fresh onions, and most importantly learning how to cook like a Nepali from two sweet girls. It was fun learning how to cook over the little fire pits that were dug into the ground and spending time with the two girls and learning more about them.
We had just finished eating our awesome lunch and we were all just chilling on the side of the mountain laughing and talking to each other. I was talking to Hilary and had asked her if she had felt the aftershocks last night when all of a sudden the one thing I thought was a safe place began to shake. It shook to me core and I heard the earth shake to its core. I don’t know how to explain what I heard but the only way I know is that is sounding like the earth crumbling and rocks shaking so violently. It felt like it lasted for so long when really they say it was either 15 seconds to 30 seconds. Then I sat there and watched a landslide happen right beside us and the houses below us crumbled and I heard the most heart-wrenching screams from below. I remember looking around at my friends’ faces and just seeing pure terror and fear. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest and everything in me was shaking. I remember thinking how am I going to stay here tonight? What if another happens and that landslide happens above us? One “what if? “question after another. Some people ran immediately to the houses below to check on the people while the rest of us sat there; all of this happening in a couple of minutes. After a couple of aftershocks following the earthquake one of our squad leaders, Dustin Mick, told us all to quickly pack all of our things because we need to get to a safe area, which was on top of the mountain. I remember just standing up and walking over to my tent and seeing my team leader and dear friend, Cassady, crying. It broke my heart to see her like that and I immediately went to her and gave her a hug. I started to take the tent down and packing everything up; I felt like any second I was going to start crying because I was in shock of what just felt and heard but I kept telling myself hold it in, hold it in, stay strong. While we were packing there were aftershocks and we would all sit on the ground and wait for them to stop.
After finishing packing up everything, six of us started to the hike up the side of the mountain; which I was so nervous about being that there were small and narrow walk ways, mud, unstable ground, and just the difficultly of the hike with a pack on. The whole way I just kept telling myself “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” over and over and over again till I reached the top. During the walk I remember looking at the Nepali people and seeing almost a disappointment because we were leaving. It broke my heart so much because they can’t leave or escape this; it is their life and their community that they just lost again. When we finally made it to the top we had to figure out where we needed to stay because we did not know whether or not we would be able to get a bus that night. Kaylaynn, one of our squad leaders, walked up a hill to find an open safe place for us to stay; next thing we know she comes back down to us and she had found a huge tent on top of the hill that was going to be used for storing food and water and the owner was willing to let us stay in one of the tents.
We get up to the tent and wait for the rest of the squad to get there during this time I just sat there staring off into space and trying to focus on anything but what we had just experienced. I started to read Jesus Calling devotional book to take my mind off everything and just try to focus on God. Once everyone was there we came together and the squad leaders asked if anyone was shaken up and a few of us raised our hands, me included, and then one of Dustin Mick’s friends was with us, Lane, told us how he had heard that the village below us had a lot of building fall with people inside of them. We started to pray and then my team came together to pray for each other and also ask God if any of us were to go down to the village to help. I was not sure what God was saying whether I should go or not; I felt he was saying yes to going out but I felt that there were too many of us going to that village and I did not want to be a hindrance to rescue crews. I felt I would be at better use staying back and going down into our village and praying for those people.
A small group of us went down to pray with the people and as we started to walk down the main road we noticed one building that was standing the day before had fallen down. As we continued to walk down the street seeing all the buildings that had fallen or were about to fall we ran into Babita, one of the girls who was showing us how to cook. She started to tell us how it was not a very safe area that we were walking around in and offered to show us around. She started to show us around and tell us which buildings had fallen in the first earthquake and which ones had just fallen. Then she asked if we would like to see her house and I said yes but I wasn’t ready for what I was about to see. She took us behind one building and then all I saw was rumble and she tells us this was her home and then showed us her new home, which was tin sheets made into a tiny building. My heart crumbled inside of me, here is this sweet young girl who has lost her home and is loving on us and checking to make sure we were okay. (She continued for the next couple of days to check in on us to see how we were doing.) She continued to show us around and became our translator to talk to those around us.
On our way back up to the tent, there was a family that lived right by the tent and had some goats. I had noticed three little baby goats and asked the girls if we could just sit there and spend some time with that family and the goats. Just being there for not even a minute just watching the baby goats trying to walk and ‘baahhing’ around, one of the ladies came up and asked if we would like to hold one; of course three girls want to hold the adorable little baby goats. She told us how the three goats were born that morning and it was in that moment holding that precious little goat that God showed me that even though there is destruction, death, and heaviness around me, there is also precious new life that is happening around us. God helped open my eyes to again rejoice and have joy in the dark moments of life and how He is such a good good Father.
That evening two of my teammates, Cassady, Olivia, and I were sitting under the amazing sky filled with the most beautiful stars that just covered the entire night sky started to talk about how we were feeling. We all had the same feeling in that the one solid rock, the earth, that I felt so safe on just shattered. It was no longer a safe place and I never knew when it would begin to shake beneath me again. But how that shattering moment made me understand so much; God is literally the only solid rock that will last forever, nothing else will last forever except for him. We all just sat there pondering on this and just in amaze of the star when all of a sudden a shooting star went across the sky. What?!? I was in shock that I just witnessed my first ever shooting star and we all started to laugh because we were like ‘Alright God now you are just showing off.’
After living in a ‘refugee camp’ for a couple of days and using the woods for our bathroom (which was fun), we are now back in Kathmandu processing and getting ready to start back at ministry on Monday. There have been a few big aftershocks but I have such a peace that God is protecting us and I don’t fear what could happen. God also broke one of my biggest fears, which was death because I have always been scared by thought because I could not wrap my mind around eternity (not heaven or hell just the concept of forever and ever) or missing out on being a wife and having kids and everything else that comes next. But God took that fear away completely because has shown me that I should not fear anything in life for he is always beside me holding my hand.
I do ask please continue to pray for Nepal and the people because with every aftershock they run out into the streets screaming and you can see the fear on their faces. Also pray for P Squad during this time and everything that we have gone through and continue to go through.
