Let me start off by being incredibly cliche, I can’t believe the time has come to meet my squad in Atlanta for launch. In three-ish days I will be heading to Atlanta for last minute training before we fly out on January 9. It happened so quickly. My head is spinning.
Now beyond that, I have a request. If you’re reading this sometime before Sunday, January 5, (even though it’s still necessary after) please have grace with me. I have never left my family for a year. I have never quit a job I love, moved away from my home, waved goodbye to my best friend (mollie I love you), packed everything for 11 months in one pack or lived in a tent. You might be telling a really funny story, or getting a great chuckle out of me when I start crying for no apparent reason. Just let it be. Please, have grace with my mommy and daddy as well. I love you too Billy-bob and Cheryly-girl.
I don’t know how to process this. But the beautiful thing is that I know someone who can make sense of every emotion. He can walk with me through it all. He can give me peace in the midst of chaos, upheaval. He is waiting for me with the promise that I am never alone when I jump in to the unknown. He is my sure and steady light when I step in to darkness.
His name is Jesus.
And yall, if it weren’t for his great love I would be a mess. I would probably be in a ball rocking in the corner, talking to myself. But every day I fix my gaze on Him and I know that no matter what he asks of me, with his help, I can say yes. With his help I can rejoice over losing myself, because I know it means I will find him. I can thank him for killing my desires and flooding my soul with his holy, righteous will.
So now, my next request. Many of you, have committed to praying for me while I am away. Here is my constant prayer that I ask you to join me on. It happed a while ago and I almost didn’t mean to say it. I mean I did mean to say it…but i didn’t. It’s one of those scary prayers like “Humble me” or “have your way”
I asked the Lord, to make me more like Jesus.
Maybe you just read that and thought “yea whatever Stacie you’re a Christian, we’ve been praying that for like forever”. Well, have you prayed it and really, really meant it? Have you allowed it to pierce you down deep in your soul? Have you thought about what it means to be refined, chiseled? It doesnt feel good. It’s will always be worth it, but it doesn’t always feel good. Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s handiwork” The greek for this word is sometimes referred to as “work of art”. GOD’S MASTERPIECE ?? (Please do yourself a favor and click this link) I have to be honest with you, some days I don’t feel like much of a masterpiece. And to be more like Jesus, means I have to be a whole, whole lot less like Stacie.
At least, less like the Stacie that I know and more like the Stacie that God knows. So I ask that you will pray that I will disappear. Pray that the Stacie that I have always wanted to be, will be laid on the altar. Pray that God would have HIS WAY in my life. Pray that I will daily, forever, live and love as the unique individual that God created me to be. Not who you want me to be, not who I want to be…but who HE wants me to be. Pray that I will be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. In fact, pray that you no longer see Stacie, but that instead when you look at me, you see Jesus. I want to disappear.
I love love the passage in Acts when Peter and John are called before the Sanhedrin. When they are called to account for the miracles they have performed, given the opportunity to deny Jesus, instead they BOLDLY, by the power of the Holy Spirit, tell the Sanhedrin what the deal is. “It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed…Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:10-12)
Everytime I read that I want to start shouting praises.. but I’ll carry on. The part that I want you to pray over me is “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13)
There it is. took note that these men had been with Jesus.
Lord, hide my life in yours. Let every word, every action, point people to you. May I live so that all will know that I have not only been with you but that I am with you. For surely, you are as present now in this moment as you ever have been and ever will be.
