Sunday morning I awoke at 5:30am because I couldn’t sleep and I began having coughing fits. I tried to get in under control with cough drops and vitamin C tablets in my water. When I realized I couldn’t, I left the room about 6:30am to sleep in one of the lounges (as not to keep everyone else in my room awake). For a while I couldn’t even lay down because the coughing continued, so I slept/prayed sitting up. Once I felt like I had the coughing under control, I laid down for about 10 minutes (before needing to get up to make breakfast). In that time I had a very real dream where I was face-to-face with Pilate, the man who sentenced Jesus to death.
I don’t remember all the details, but something brought me to Pilate right after he sent Jesus away to be flogged and crucified. I looked into Pilate’s eyes with such anguish and asked if there was anyway to get Jesus back. His face was filled with despair (in Luke 23:20 it says that, “Wanting to release Jesus, Pilate appealed to them [the chief priests, the rulers and the people] again”)…he was hopeless and realized what he had just done, but didn’t know how to undo it.
Jesus was as real to me as a friend right next to me. It was like Jenny or Emily or Erin just got sent to experience the greatest pain known to man for nothing! I was the sinner…my sins began overwhelming me and my inner struggle to save my friend was creating desperation within. Then I woke…
When I have a lot on my plate I begin having vivid dreams and tossing and turning a lot throughout the night, losing much sleep. There have been many times throughout this trip that I have had unpleasant dreams…dreams that leave me confused. In my dreams is where Satan finds an opening to attack and I have not yet been able to speak against it consciously during dreaming. I have friends pray over me before I go to bed sometimes, as I pray over my dreams as well.
While this is going on, God is also showing up in my dream. For example, in Romania my friends told me that in the middle of the night I yelled out, “the Holy Spirit has been laying something on your heart and you should pray about it!” It woke them up but I remained sound asleep. I sat on what I said and wondered if this was for those who heard it or was it for me, or both?
I don’t know the meaning of my dream with coming face-to-face with Pilate, but I am so thankful for such a dream. Many times I am not able to read the Bible and place myself in such a time as many of the events…sympathizing with the people and the environment/culture. This dream took me to the time of Jesus’ crucifixion, where I could feel part of the reality of the situation. With this, the greatness of how I view the gospel in my own life has tremendously increased.
