What do I want? Such a simple question, yet so complicated at the same time. A question that I began asking myself after having a conversation with a sweet friend at AIM named Caroline. After a month of hard conversations and tough love, I was in need of rejuvenation. I was able to reflect on the past few months and let go of burdens that had been hindering me. I didn’t expect for two questions that I hadn’t even considered before talking with Caroline to create such a stirring inside of me: 1) What do I want 2) How have I changed the past few months?
What do I want?
You know when you’re younger and a teacher asks what you want to be when you grow up? Most kids say something extravagant just for effect, but in reality they truly do BELIEVE they can do anything with their lives. Somewhere along the lines of growing up, that childhood sense of wonder seems to dissipate, leaving instead questions like:
What college will look best on my resume?
What job will give me the most money?
What will make others think highly of me?
What will make me happiest?
How will I pay the bills?
In asking these questions, we surrender our ability to dream and settle for a life of mediocrity. So, again, what do I want? I want to dream BIG dreams and have faith that they will come into fruition if I will only step out onto the water and embrace the future.
Mike and I took some time to write out our dreams the other night. I sometimes think that I don’t know what I want for my life, but I discovered that I actually have a pretty great idea. It’s the thought of walking forward into what I want that gets me every time. I’m in a “go for it” state of mind lately, so when I realized I had never done the whole message in a bottle thing I decided it would be appropriate to throw my dreams into the ocean. This is what I came up with:
you can have my dreams- I desire a life of abundance, for my life to be a well-spring of love, joy, life, purity, honor, integrity, a voice for change. I desire to leave a mark on the world. I will not be silent and watch as others live lives of injustice and poverty. I desire to be a speaker of truth, to call others into greatness, to be a mother to the orphaned, a friend to the widow. I desire to be an example of the Proverbs 31 woman *don’t we all?*, to be gentle in spirit and a loving and honorable wife.
-the27project
-change the world
-end human trafficking
-adopt children
-raise children that love and honor the Lord with all of their hearts
-an orphanage
-be a woman that walks in grace and authority
-create a stirring in this generation, one the will create ripples in the US and the Nations.
-Kingdom come
-Release and promise
I hesitated to throw these dreams into the ocean because they make up so much of who I am; but, I decided that I didn’t want to cling to things unless they are dreams of the Lord. I thought about writing a second copy, but decided against that as well. I figured the bottle would sink because the lid didn’t fit well, but, sure enough, these little guys were swept right back to my feet a few minutes later. I released my dreams and the Lord gave them back to me…as if patting me on the shoulder while saying go for it! This is what I want and I’m going after it! No fear of failure. No looking back. No second guessing. I would rather fail miserably while sprinting full-speed ahead than sit on the sidelines and wonder what impact my life could have had on the nations.
As Christmas is approaching, I would ask that you prayerfully consider supporting me in missions this Christmas season. I’m so blessed by the continued support of so many family members, dear friends, and church members. If you would like to consider supporting me as I pursue these dreams, here are a few ways:
-support for squad leading: still in need of $1,500 to finish my time on the field
-student loans, although I’m entering into missions on a more long-term basis and not exactly using my degree from Texas A&M, I am thankful for the time I spent there. I want to be a woman of integrity and fully pay off my debt!
-the27project: we will be having a 10K in Cambodia for the first ever 27project run! you can sponsor me in this run. (more in-depth blog and website coming soon)
-G42: I will be attending a Leadership School in Mijas,Spain called G42 beginning in July of next year. This school will provide me with world known mentors that will help equip me to walk into these dreams!
feel free to email me about any of the above things 🙂
Merry Christmas!
