I’ve spent the past two weeks moving back to my parents’ house. During this time, God has been teaching me lessons that I’ve avoided learning for the past few years. After round three of driving from College Station, I finally got everything organized. Ohhh the joys of being back in my room from high school. As I stacked the last totes into the corner of my room, I glanced around and was overwhelmed with a deep sadness. The root of this sadness dwelled in the realization of how much “stuff” I have. I couldn’t help but wonder when I became such a materialistic brat.
Any of my friends will tell you that one of the highlights of staying or living with me is the fact that a wide array of “smell-good” products are in every nook and cranny possible :). I sorted through all of these and threw away a ridiculous amount of lotions, sprays, and make-up. I also went through all of my clothes and filled trash bags with things that I haven’t worn in ages. I dropped the trash bags off at Goodwill, and was again plagued with the fact that I just gave away what should have been my entire wardrobe, when in reality the several bags barely put a dent in my closet.
Have I been so worried about how people perceive me that showing people the love of Jesus has been an after-thought in my life? That thought breaks my heart. I would hope that the biggest impact of my life will be more than being the girl with hair that smells good or has cute clothes. I’m so excited about the opportunity for God to strip away everything that holds me back from pursuing Him wholeheartedly. I may be singing a different tune when I’m covered in dirt, haven’t washed my clothes, haven’t showered, and smell disgusting in a few weeks, but for now that’s my heart :).
Jeremy Camp sings a song called “Empty Me”. The lyrics say, Holy Fire burn away, my desire for anything that is not of You and is of me,I want more of You and less of me…empty me. This is truly my desire for the next year on the World Race. Please pray that God will reveal more of my shortcomings and mold me more into His image daily.
