Have you ever allowed yourself to dream? I don’t mean the sleeping kind of dreams or the daydream kind, I mean the Martin Luther King Jr. kind of dreams. Dreams that are so big that it almost seems as if they will spill out of you if they’re held in any longer? Dreams that might seem a little crazy or impossible?
I’ve been discovering my dreams, or shall I say discovering how to embrace my dreams, during the past 2 months. I’ve always wanted to find my place to make the world better, save the earth…all of those good things. But, I’ve never allowed myself to voice the dreams that, ironically, keep me awake at night, rather than lull me into a peaceful sleep. I’ve never allowed myself to think that God has specific dreams for the heart that He’s placed inside of me, the personality traits that He’s given me, the character that He’s molded within me, and the giftings that He’s revealed to me. Dreams that only I can dream; desires that were only meant to be spoken through me.
Before the race, I was able to be adequate in most things by just giving part of myself, seldom pushing the limitations of the depths of the woman that God has created me to be. But, a few weeks ago, God decided to ask me to put all of myself: my passions, my desires, the entirety of my heart, the core of my very existence, into the dreams that He’s given me. This kind of made me freak out. I started thinking things like “umm hey God, remember that time that I wasn’t Mother Theresa?…yeah about that.” Or, “hey God, it’s me again, the one that is in way over her head…I’m pretty sure there are other people that are way more qualified for this and could do it so much better, so it’d be awesome if you handed this dream off to them.”
Lies, all lies. I’ve let myself believe that my dreams are too big for my God. That doesn’t even make sense! He’s the one that has given me these dreams. Many people my age have a fear of failure, which limits our willingness to dream. I’m learning that He wants for me, little 5’3 Stacey Compton from the sticks that people mistake for a 16 year old, to DREAM things that I would never be able to accomplish on my own. Dreams that I’m going to pursue wholeheartedly, while also learning to release ownership of them. They’re dreams that aren’t about me at all.
So I ask you, what is your dream? Are you allowing it to come into being, or are you pushing it back into the depths of your heart, hiding it from the discovery of others? I may be wandering for awhile in search of the dreams that God has for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m lost. It means that I’m not settling for mediocrity or security. It means that I’m willing to trust that God has more for me than what meets the eye, things that can only be seen with the heart. Wherever my dreams may take me, I’ll be found in Him.
