HI!!! We just got back from our midway debrief and WOW i never thought the race would go by so fast. i remember at month 1 debrief talking about how far off half way through would be. Now we’re here and that’s insane to me. We had our debrief in the mountains surrounded by silence and clouds. We didn’t have wifi and there wasn’t a ton to do so we were definitely forced to make our own fun. We watched a lot of movies, napped, had one on ones, and spent some much needed time with Jesus. The mountains are quiet, I could hear my thought and clearly hear what the Lord was saying to me. Silence, though uncomfortable at times,makes it way easier to hear the Fathers voice.
Going into debrief, I was kind of angry to be honestly. Me and God had been hashing a lot of things out but I was having a hard time really hearing what He had to say about things. On the 3rd day, we had a silent sabbath where we went our to a spot alone and silently spent time with the Lord. At first i was convinced I wouldn’t be able to last that long but as time went on, I wished it was longer.
I’ve recently been having a hard time finding my strength and my identity in the Lord. So, I sat there alone and asked the Lord to reveal something to me that would allow me to recognize my identity in him. At first I got nothin. I have a ton of notes and verses paper clipped to the front page of my bible so in my initial bordem, I unclipped those notes and started reading them. I decided to look up some of the verses that had been written. This lead me to Psalm 37:11 “But the meek will inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.” And Matthew 5:5 “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” I’ve read both of these verses before but initially the word meek did not stand out to me at all. I didn’t know what the meaning was, so i ignorantly skipped over them. This time however I went to the back of my bible and looked it up and it said “the meek do not assert themselves over others in order to further their own agendas in their own strengths. They shall delight themselves in abundant peace.” It also said “Humble assurance founded on a deep trust in God’s will. Such trust results in a peaceful and gentle disposition even in the face of prosecution or difficulty. It frees a person from pride.” That really hit home for me.
The last couple weeks I’ve been struggling to find my strengths and ways that I can lead others. I’ve realized how prideful I can be in situations and how in tune I have been with the enemies lies that I’m not capable enough. The Lord complete broke down the lie and told me that I was meek. While this was exactly what I needed to hear, He also convicted me of not acting out of meekness lately at all. I had been trying to assert myself and complaining about things out of my control when really the Lord just wanted me to humble myself and be meek. Resting in His abundant goodness and plan for my life.
So the biggest thing I’m learning right now is meekness and what it means to walk in that. Letting go of my pride and walking gently into abundant peace.
