Today is halloween. Doesn’t feel like it at all. But that’s okay. We got back from the orphanage on Sunday and went right into our new ministry Monday morning. We are painting a woman’s home. To be perfectly honest this isn’t the most exiting thing we have done but we are doing it for an important reason. When the woman first moved into the building it was covered in murals with bible verses written in english all over the walls. The paintings were beautiful but this didn’t make the building feel like home to these woman. They wanted to feel safe and like this place was really their home. They asked to have the walls painted white so they could decorate their rooms how they would like.
So we walk to ministry each morning. We get all the paint ready, put our headphones in, and start trekking. Getting home from the orphanage was pretty hard on all of us and we didn’t get much time to process, making things harder. We cried because we missed the girls and reminisced about our favorite memories with them. The first day back was probably the hardest. We got to our ministry with sad hearts, tired bodies, and a longing to be back at Sending Hope. The morning was rough. I fell asleep. We tried to keep our spirits high, but sometimes that is easier said than done. However, the more I prayed over the Woman who lived in this house and how grateful I was to have had such a good couple of weeks, things got better. We started talking about weddings and food and the girls and things we love from home. The day got better. We were’t thinking as much about being somewhere else, but rather being present right where we were. Im learning that it is okay to not to numb to everything and that sometimes I need to cry. Im learning how to communicate with my team and realize that things I have to say and valid and heard. Overall, I’m learning how to be present right where I am and find joy in things that sometimes aren’t always fun and exiting.
The past few days have definitely been “headphones in, I don’t really want to talk type of days” for most of us, but sometimes we grow the most when we are messy. Being happy and enjoying the task in front of us is great, but that doesn’t mean we are growing very much. God allows us to be messy so that we can turn to Him and not just share out burdens, but give our burdens to Him. For the first time I think we are a little messy. A little sad, and a little broken. However, because of this we have gotten closer. We have had some very real and venerable conversations where we can ask for grace and know that the people around us will provide. We have grown in the way we love each other, even when it’s hard and the way we can support one another through challenging things. Messy is good. Messy is needed. God cares a lot more about our growth than our comfort.
