It’s hard to believe I have been in Ecuador for a month. I feel like it’s been maybe 2 weeks at most. And no, I still haven’t learned any more Spanish than the few words I knew before I came here. Recently I have thought a lot about the person I am as opposed to the person I want to be. This has been tough because honestly, I have no clue who I am. I hear people on my team talking about their results from some personality test and they just seem so self-aware. I am completely at a lost when it comes to myself. How are others suppose to understand me when I can’t even understand myself? For awhile I was scared to take the personality test because I didn’t want something a computer says to define me and I thought I was just too complex of a person to have the same personality type as someone else. Most importantly, I was scared I would be disappointed by the results. I know I am not where I want to be in terms of how I think and my immediate reactions to situations. However, I realize now how important it is to know yourself so you can help others better love you. For as long as I can remember I have let others define me and let them decide my worth. I depend upon other people for my happiness because acceptance has, for so long, been a priority of mine; and that is not who I want to be. I want to be so confident in my ways and believe the things that God says about me, not others. I want to surround myself with people who genuinely care for me and do everything out of love. I want to look for ways to better myself and the people around me. I really just want us to be a generation of people who want to help people. So there ya go. That’s all about that.
A little about my week at ministry: I work a good bit in one particular room at Camp Hope and have come to know and love the main caregiver there with all of my heart. She feels like my Ecuadorian mom the way she just selflessly does everything she can for everyone else. On Friday, about 5 of us got to take a bus ride to a small horse farm with a few of the kids. Guys, the way their faces lit up when they rode the horses just filled me with the most happiness I had felt in awhile. As I walked beside them I just prayed for each of them. The way God works just blows my mind all the time because it’s never how I think it will look. He likes to keep me on my toes;)
