If you read Part 1, then you know that God was moving powerfully in my life during my time in Northern Ireland. If you haven’t read Part 1….you should.
Two weeks into month 8 over half of V Squad packed up and headed to Dublin, Ireland for Parent Vision Trip (PVT). PVT is a chance for racers to invite their parents to come alongside of them for one week on the race, and to experience life, worship, and ministry in the World Race setting. It’s also a time for conversations to be had, and healing to take place between racers and their families if needed.
….I knew my family was one of those, but wasn’t quite sure what it would look like….
Since Training Camp I had been going down a road with God of “breaking chains”, and healing different areas of my life that had been altered due to situations and circumstances over the span of my life. Now, don’t get me wrong….my childhood as a whole was fantastic. I grew up in a loving Christian home, my parents would have done anything for me, and continue to do so to this day. They loved me unconditionally, but they’re still humans….as am I….and humans are flawed.
So as PVT approached I knew I would have to have a conversation with my mom. However, I didn’t feel that I would need to with my dad. God had taken me to a place of healing where it wasn’t really necessary to have that conversation.
I remember sitting in the cafeteria area of the hostel talking to my mom, and the conversation going something like this:
Me: Maybe when we get some free time, and it’s a little quieter we can have a talk about some things.
Mom: You can just go ahead and tell me now….it’s ok.
Me: Eeeehhhh….uuuuummmmm we can do it later.
Mom: No no….we can have it now….it’s totally fine.
(Me rolling my eyes at Jesus, and thinking “ok ok I know it’s time)
Me: Uhhhhhh ummmmmm ok…..
And so began our conversation. I told her how I had been hurt in the past by things, and how God had been so gracious with me during the entire healing process. How there was no guilt or shame, no sadness or bitterness, but forgiveness and love. She apologized, and I continued to tell her that it was ok….that, again, there was no guilt or shame, but that I loved her and knew we had to have this talk in order for our relationship to grow.
Right after the conversation we went to a “listening prayer” exercise in order to get some of the parents feet wet for our ATL (Ask The Lord) ministry that was going to happen that week. Saige began talking about the vision she had, and it was for my mom. My mom began to sob, because there was so much truth in it. It lined up so perfectly with the conversation we JUST had. If I wouldn’t have had that talk with my mom right before….the vision would have meant nothing, and the reality of how awesome God is would have been missed.
God is so FREAKING awesome! There’s some more that happened, though….yes….more! So hang on!
Seth Barnes who was heading up our PVT that week took a minute just to talk to the dad’s. He encouraged the dad’s to take the time during the week to spend some quality time with their daughters. I don’t think he realized how God was creating a divine appointment with my dad and I when he said that. So thank you Seth!
So my dad took the initiative to take me out to a pub. I knew that I still didn’t need to have a conversation with my dad, but I wasn’t expecting the beauty that was about to unveil. We found a seat at the back of the pub, and each order a Guiness. We sat there having some small talk, and then my dad took a deep breath and began to talk. He began to apologize for things left and right. Things that I had been seeking the Lord for over the last 9 or so months. Things my dad had no idea I had been praying for….or at least I didn’t think he knew. He told me how he could FEEL my prayers for him. He would have thoughts surround his mind, and knew I had been praying for him. So every time I was praying so fervently for healing, and “breaking chains”….God was taking them and throwing them at my dad, and my dad was FEELING it! I apologized for things as well that had happened in the past, and we sobbed together. I then told him how much I loved him, how proud of him I was, and even got to encourage my dad. In the back of a pub, in Dublin, crying over a pint of Guiness….healing was happening.
It was the most beautiful thing ever! I still get giddy reliving those moments, and even tear up. What an incredible, loving, gracious, and powerful God I serve!
Am I completely healed….of course not. These are things that go back 28 years. will I give up? Heck no! Doors have been opened for conversations, and continual growth….I’m in it for the long haul. This has been almost a year long process for me, but it has been so worth it!
So I want to encourage YOU. Yes, YOU….the one reading this right now. I want to encourage you to not give up. Don’t give up on the healing that you so long for….physical, emotional, or spiritual. Be persistent, and demand that it happen. It can happen. It WILL happen. Keep talking, calling, crying, or even yelling out to God. He hears it all, and longs to do these things for you. So don’t give up! It may take time, but it’s possible!
