Why did your mom give you up for adoption?
How was it coming into a new culture?
How much English did you speak when you first got to America?
Do you love your adopted parents? (Btw, why is this even a question?!)
Have you been back to Ethiopia yet?
Do you ever want to go back?
Do you remember what Ethiopia was like?
These are some of the questions I have been asked over the years. Each time some one asks me for my testimony I tell it with a joyful heart because through my ups-and-downs God has been faithful to me. So, my story is really a testament of His faithfulness.
But, that’s not to say I didn’t have struggles in life. I remember being in an orphanage. I remember every thought that went through my mind as I waited for a forever family that was willing to love me.
Am I good enough?
Am I worth what it takes to adopt a child?
Does God love me as much as He loves all my other friends that are getting adopted before me?
Will my family love me?
How much longer will I have to wait?
Why am I an orphan, what did I do wrong?
These were a few of my thoughts that went through my mind as I waited, and waited for a family. Some days I felt like I was never getting adopted. Some days I questioned why God allowed kids to grow up without their mother and father. Other days I questioned if God really is a God of love. Then I got frustrated for not having an answer to these questions.
Then came the day where I got told I was going to be adopted. I felt all sorts of emotions but mostly I felt happy. Those years at the orphanage taught me many things. One of the most important lessons I learned is God works on His own time. There is no rushing His plan. Waiting is one of the hardest things in life. We want to see our plans unfold. Sometimes we want to rush things, but speaking from what little experience I have had God’s timing is way better than our own.
But, what if after waiting for so long I got told I wasn’t going to be adopted? Can you imagine what that would have felt like?
Can you imagine the feeling of lost and hopelessness?
Can you imagine how different my life would be?
When I heard the news that Ethiopia doesn’t allow international adoption anymore my heart broke. There is no doubt in my mind there are thousands of kids that need a forever family like I did. There is no doubt in my mind some of those kids have the same thoughts I had when I was waiting. I can only imagine the feeling of hopeless those kids are experiencing.
But, through it all I know God has a bigger plan for those kids.
I know He could do way more for them than any of us ever would.
I know even when we can’t see and understand His plan, He’s still good!
And if you really think about it, we are all orphans adopted into His kingdom.
You might not be able to adopt from Ethiopia anymore. But, I am sure you could find a different way to support and love on so many children.
While I was in Myanmar, I was able to visit an orphanage home. Seeing all the kids there reminded me of my old self. I was one of those kids. Then God reminded me , I went through everything I did in life so I could be a witness and bring hope to people like me. Orphans have a special place in my heart. I want to make them feel loved. I want to tell them they are worthy of love and compassion. I want to tell them nothing that happened in their lives is their fault.
God gave me a verse to meditate on when I felt hopeless and forgotten.
“can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15
