I have to admit that lately I’ve picked up a new “hobby” and
it isn’t a good hobby. It’s actually very bad. It’s a sin. Even though I know
how bad it is and that sin separates us from God (Isaiah 59:2), I find myself
doing it ALL THE TIME! What is this
reoccurring sin I am guilty of committing? I worry. Mary Manin Morrissey once said, “You block
your dreams when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” I don’t
want to do that but I’m afraid I already have. I worry mainly about money but
other things also pop into my mind from time to time.
“How am I going to
raise enough money to go on the Race, cover my other miscellaneous expenses, my
bills, etc? What’s going to happen to my youth group when I leave? What will I
do when I get back? What will happen when I’m gone? What if no one likes me?
What if I fail?”
What makes it worse is that all the doubts I’m having start
off as doubts about myself and my own abilities but when I take a step back I
see that I’m really doubting God. I’m limiting Him, I’m saying, “You can’t do
this. You can’t make a seemingly impossible situation possible. I don’t trust
You and ultimately I don’t believe in You.” I feel like Peter. He saw Jesus walking on the water and said, “Lord,
if it’s you tell me to come to you on the water.” Jesus called Peter to Him. Peter got down out of the boat and began
walking on the water towards Him. It didn’t take Peter long to get scared and doubt,
he began to sink and cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately
Jesus reached out his hand and caught him saying, “You of little faith, why
did you doubt?” It’s in
moments like this that I (like Peter) am thankful for God’s grace. I’m thankful
that He helps me. He helps me realize what I’m doing and He continues to believe
in me, even when I have trouble believing in Him.
The big question is “how do I remedy this problem?” Someone
once said, “Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” So that’s
what I intend to do. I pulled out my Bible tonight and decided I needed to be
re-schooled in faith. I read Hebrews 11, it begins, “Now faith is being sure of
what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” I suggest everyone who’s
struggling with fear, doubt, anxiety or worry go and read this chapter. It provides several inspiring examples of
those who have believed in God and been obedient to His will (even in the face
of impossible circumstances) and the rewards they have received for their
faith. (In the next few weeks I plan on going back over each person mentioned
in this text and re-reading the story of walk of faith to better help me
understand mine.) I realize that faith
is not easy. As a result of living in a sinful world, it doesn’t come naturally
to believe in something you cannot see. But I know better, I know there are
great rewards for those who believe (Hebrews 11:6). I will have times when my faith is tested and
shaken. I will have times when I doubt but the best thing to do is to remember
the promises God has made to me.
Jesus said to him, “As far as possibilities go, everything
is possible for the person who believes.” (Mark 9:23 GWT)
