Four years ago today, my Mom passed away from stage four breast cancer. I was a freshman in college in Ohio while my family lived in Washington. By the grace of God my college soccer coach sent me home and I was able to spend my Mom’s last day on earth with her. What a blessing it was to be able to hear her say I love you for the last time to me and also show her that her that leaving was better that putting up the fight she has done for almost 8 years being in and out of chemo with cancer four different times.
In the moment of my Mom’s funeral, I winged my eulogy for her. To be honest, I regret that. I wish I could have really thought it out and shown how much my Mom has meant to me and how much she has affected my life. Now, four years later after reflecting on her and her life I feel like I finally have the right eulogy for everyone to know.
So here it is….
My Mom was so many things but here are some things that stand out about her….
-Her Strength:
My Mom taught me how to never give up and to fight for what you want. Even when things were looking bad with her having cancer my Mom told my Dad never to give up on her. Her goals even when she couldn’t get out of bed were to be able to drive the car around. She never gave up her whole life even when things went very wrong in her past, she kept fighting. She never gave up on me, my brother, Dad, or anyone else that entered her life. Looking at this, I strive and want to have at even half the strength she had. Being on the race and the last four years have been hard times where people or situations have told me I can’t do it or I didn’t think I could get through it. Every time I think that I can’t, I remember the strength of my Mom. She had the power of Wonder Woman and I would give to be anything near that when I am at her age.
-Be who you are:
Remember when you are around your parents when you are younger and are so embarrassed of them? Well my Mom was that for me in the beginning of high school. I was so embarrassed of her big personality, her bluntness, her laugh, and all her outrageous comments. Then when leaving for college I realized how much I loved all these parts of her personality. No matter who she talked to she never changed the way she acted or put on a front of how she felt or who she was. Looking back at this now, I appreciate it more than ever. I have some of these personality traits and instead of trying to change them, I embrace them now. These are traits that made my mother the strong woman that she was and I respected her for that. God has given her this and why not appreciate what you are given.
-It was never about her:
My Mom was the most selfless person that I have known. She sacrificed her personal life for her kids. Yes, sometimes she micromanaged our lives but I wouldn’t be where I am today with out her help. When people were in need she would drop everything to help that person even when she was sick. She would ask the hard questions and listen to anyone about who they were and what their story was. When she was sick, she would still text me everyday to see how I was at school even when she couldn’t talk on the phone because it was too hard to breathe. I want this in my life. Although it’s not something I have I want to be more like that. I want to not think about how how my needs won’t be met but to help others with theirs like she did. I want to have personal conversations with people for hours hearing about their lives. I want to think of the small things to do for people with out being asked or being recognized for it like she did.
Finally, she taught me the things that happen in your life can hurt but instead of hiding it, you can help people and connect with people who are in the situations you have been in. MY GOSH my Mom was wise and let me tell you, she could gIve you the best advice you never thought you could get. So be open and honest and embrace your life experiences.
My Mom was a bad ass let me tell you that. She was a woman of God and she was one crazy woman as well. She embodies everything I want to be as a woman, as a child of God, as a future mother, and just as a person. I know I wouldn’t have been on the race if my Mom didn’t push me to strive for my goals. She let me be me and told me to aim for the stars. She is a memory but she is more than that she is a part of me that will be a part of my soul for life. Even though I only had 19 years with her, I am so thankful for those 19 years spent with the best mother (in my opinion) a girl could ever have!
