So I have a confession. I.hate.fundraising. (I know I can get 1,000 AMENS to that, I wont even ask for them). I have to be honest that asking for money is one of the greatest dislikes of my life, right along with hearing bones break and the sound of metal scraping against porcelain; my eye twitches at the thought. While preparing for the Race, I learned how much a proof of pride that strong dislike is, and I resigned to allow God to work it all out; my funding AND my pride. I don’t want to go into the mission field in my own strength, on my own dime (yep, that’s about all I would have alone), as if I did not desperately need God. That would probably be the greatest mistake of my life. This whole journey will require that I cast away that pride and lean wholly on the supernatural providence of God, resting in His love and trusting in His faithfulness. This 11 months will be the prototype for the way I want to live the rest of my life, and if I cower in the face of adversity and opposition with the God of the Universe at my back, there is literally no hope for me elsewhere. God is the plan A, B, and C. There is no other way. SO, with that said, this week I have been doing a lot of cowering, and I don’t dig that at all. I have been facing a lot of fear about the fundraising process as things are not moving as swiftly as I would like. I sent out a slew of messages to people asking for addresses to send my support letter to, and so far only two people have gotten back to me and my support balance stayed at $0. Meanwhile I have been beating myself up over maybe not taking a stronger stance earlier and possibly calling people or something else which might bring more success. I was focused more on what else I could do to make this thing work, and I felt defeated. Then two things happened:
1. A couple at my church who had been moving often for the past 10 years had a $100-bill that had been moving with them for the whole time. They had put it way for something specific they never decided on, but when they heard about my going on the Race (through a fluke conversation with another church member), they decided to donate it to me. 10 years ago God had a plan. In fact, before creation God had a plan and He’s working it out.
2. Just as an exercise in futility, I looked at my account balance today and $300 had been deposited by an anonymous person! (Whoever you are, Thank you SO MUCH! I wont be able to write you a formal thank you letter, but this is your shout out now. You.Are.Awesome.) I thought back to the story of George Meuller and how he just prayed for provisions for the work he had to carry on with in Jesus name and God blessed him time and time again without him asking one person. Well, I am still going to ask, but what I am NOT going to do is freak out when the conventional methods of fundraising don’t catch as many tadpoles as I wish. God is the God of tadpoles and the frogs who birth them; He can handle this!
Now there are a billion and one mistake I have made on this journey that I can think of, and God is showing me so much grace. There are so many regrets I have about doing this or not doing that, but in the grand scheme of things, this does not depend on me and my mistakes don’t make or break the show. This depends on God and His power. I just need to trust Him with this and allow Him to do what He does best. When I have prayed and tried and seemingly failed, the space between my efforts and what it takes to get the job done is where God shines, and I would say a $16,000 deficit is a great way to prove this to me. It’s a perfect setup for what He wants to happen in my heart on the race where souls are in the balance. I am faced with a broken world, full of people who desperately need help and I can’t give it to them without God’s provision. I can’t feed the world, but God can. I can’t comfort the world, but God can. I can’t save the world, but God can, and desperately wants to do so. Not just because He loves us, but because His name deserves that renown, in the world and in my own heart. Jesus died on the cross for this reason; the least I can do is swallow my pride and raise some money to see God’s work done in the world and His name made famous. He is WORTH that!
As I stated before, I believe God is wanting more than just me to be blessed by the way He moves on my behalf, so I want to begin sharing the “whoas” (as opposed to woes) I experience along my fundraising journey as they come. When something cool happens that makes me go “whoa”, I want to post here and let you see how faithful God is, even to someone who is the worst amongst fundraisers. I hope you’ll be encouraged and your own faith be strengthened in the process. Thanks for following along on this journey with me!
