***Names in this blog have been changed to respect the privacy of my friends.
We are working with a ministry that builds relationships with women who work in brothels and dance bars. The ministry offers these women an alternative job (sewing and crafting), housing, and discipleship.
Yesterday we met a woman named *Kristy. She is 19, loves singing, loves fashion, was raised by missionaries, loves Justin Bieber, had to give her baby up for adoption, and loves to laugh. She has worked in dance bars for a very long time and has lived at the ministry’s training center before, but has chosen to go back to work at the dance bars.
We hung out with Kristy for about 2 hours and when we went to say goodbye to go to our next house she said she wanted to go with us so we happily had her tag along.
We were on our way to *Sarah: another woman who lived at the ministry’s training center and decided to leave and go back to her old life. Sarah takes medication for a mental disorder that should not be taken with other substances, however, Sarah has an addiction to alcohol.
Two days ago, Sarah’s uncle committed suicide. Yesterday she drank a copious amount of alcohol (mixed with her medication) and called our translator multiple times screaming and crying “UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!!! COME QUICK!!” We were all a little nervous about visiting Sarah, but we all knew that she could use the company.
Our two translators, me and 3 fellow racers, and Kristy (the dancer), walked over to Sarah’s house ready for whatever was ahead.
But we weren’t ready. We couldn’t be ready.
We were all expecting screams and shrieking, but instead there was only silence as we stood on Sarah’s porch. We peaked into her house (people don’t knock in Asia) and saw her lying on her bed passed out and completely naked except for her pants that were around her knees.
It was evident that Sarah was heavily intoxicated and had just been raped.
Sarah’s daughter, Rachel, who looked to be 5 or 6 but was probably 7 or 8, told our translators that she was in the house with her mom when a man came in, lifted up Sarah’s skirt, kicked Rachel out of the room, and locked the door. He left 5 minutes before we got to the house.
Rachel (daughter) took Kristy (dancer) and our translators to the man’s house. They accused him and he ran away.
Our translator didn’t know what to do so she called the police. She wanted the police to see the state Sarah was in as evidence of the rape.
7 male police officers came to Sarah’s house and looked at her body. Then they aggressively questioned the only eye witness, Rachel (7-8 year old daughter).
They then dragged the man who raped Sarah onto porch. He was very drunk and laughed about everything. The police slapped him many times and kept questioning him.
The attention of the neighborhood was drawn. The entire community came to see the “show” and brought their children to watch.
The police then took the guilty man to the side of the house and hit him with the back of a rake while they questioned him.
It was time to take Sarah to the hospital. Women went into the house and dressed her and carried her heavy, dead weight body to the porch. Sarah woke up.
She started screaming “UNCLE, UNCLE!!'” She was thrashing her body around so violently she was hurting the women trying to help her and she came so close to smacking her head on the cement ground.
Rachel (her daughter) cried for the first time. A woman in the crowd opened her arms to Rachel and Rachel ran into them. She held her the rest of the time.
Sarah finally passed out on the cement porch. Over 50 neighbors all stared at Sarah “the crazy woman”.
People started getting upset that the police were going to take the guilty man to jail. His wife came out and started screaming at the police. Many of the neighbors sided with her.
Then 4 women carried Sarah, who was still passed out, down a flight of stairs that went down a hill. They laid her in the middle of the road while awaiting the police car that was going to take her to the hospital.
The police car couldn’t make it up the hill so the 4 women tried to carry her down the road, but were too weak to continue. A male police officer helped by grabbing one of her ankles with one hand while he held his phone with his other hand and had a conversation with someone.
They shoved Sarah into the van as gracefully as they could. Her shirt came up so one of the women went into the van to fix it. The guilty man, one translator, 2 women helpers, and Sarah were in the police van altogether.
They drove away to the hospital and police station.
It was so hard to watch this horror knowing that this is reality for so many women in Nepal and all around the entire world.
All I wanted was justice. The more steps that were taken to reach justice, the further away it became.
Sarah was seen naked, unconscious, uncontrollable, and dirty by entire community when they should have been helping her. She was literally laid out on the ground as people stepped around her in order to get a better view of her offender.
Her daughter was looked at and questioned as the daughter of a crazy woman.
The guilty man was the only person who was defended by anyone in the crowd.
I wanted to interfere so badly!! My head was screaming, “THIS ISN’T RIGHT!!! GET OUT OF HERE PEOPLE! STOP STARING AT HER IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!! TAKE THAT MAN TO JAIL, GIVE HIM A FREAKING TRIAL!”
But it was out of my hands. There was nothing my team nor I could have done.
The entire time I couldn’t help but think, God sees this happening and has seen it happen and will see it happen every single time for all of eternity.
If my heart is breaking in half for this woman I don’t even know, how much more is God’s heart breaking? He knows all the hairs on her head, he knows every thought she’s had and will have, he knows her days on earth, he knew her before she was knit together in her mother’s womb.
And God HAS the power to interfere and bring justice in these situations, but he doesn’t. Instead he gives us complete free will.
He gave her uncle free will to decide to take his own life, he gave her the free will to drink in excess, he gave the guilty man the free will to commit the most disgusting and soul splitting crime!
I can’t imagine God’s constant heartbreak over his children. How can he forgive and love and bless and be merciful so much when he is constantly seeing what I saw yesterday?!
Where was God yesterday? Just because he gives is free will doesn’t mean he leaves us. He was in the hands of the women who carried Sarah and protected her from hitting her head. He was in the hands of the woman who covered Sarah’s body as she was shoved into the police van. He was in the open arms of the woman holding Rachel. He was in the tears of our translators and Kristy.
He was calling out to the guilty man saying, “Sober up son! Come to me as you are, I’m waiting for you to come home”.
I want to assure whoever is reading this that my team and I were not judgmental bystanders looking for a show in this story. I am choosing not to write about our responses.
I have chosen to share this story because of the power I believe it has to reveal God’s presence and love in the midst of chaos and evil.
