When I signed up for the World Race I didn’t want to know my spiritual gifts.
I thought that if I knew the gifts I was stronger in I would label myself and would be tempted to only pursue those types of ministry opportunities. I didn’t see knowing my gifts as beneficial because I would be good at them anyway so why should it matter?
Now that I’m half way through month 7, I have taken SO many tests that reveal my personality qualities and my spiritual gifts.
I am officially super labeled.
I am extroverted, I think almost equally with my head and my heart (my heart will trump my head if I don’t have clarity), I am a kinetic learner, I connect with God through intellect and celebration, my redemptive gift is exhortation, the Holy Spirit speaks through me to others when I teach, and the list goes on.
As much as these tests annoy me, knowing these things about myself really help me see how God designed me. I now have a new confidence.
Before the race I didn’t like many things about myself and I could never figure out why. I now have the answers.
Problem: I hated that on my weekends I was lazy. I couldn’t find the energy to be productive.
Answer: My weekends were when my friends would be at work and or school so I would spend two days pretty much alone. I am 90% extroverted. I have no energy when I have no one to fuel me.
Problem: I suppressed all of my emotions even when I tried so intentionally not to.
Answer: I think with my head first, but my heart makes my final decisions. It’s hard for me to recognize when I am hurt because my head says, “that’s not rational to be upset over” but my heart hurts. My mind tells me I’m fine when I’m not.
Problem: I couldn’t hear God’s voice in listening prayer.
Answer: I am a kinetic learner. Sitting in stillness makes me sleepy and confused. But when I run or exercise or write or create or have a conversation I SEE God’s hand.
Problem: I felt selfish when I would worship.
Answer: Some people get to know God best by feeling his presence, I don’t. I get to know him better by reading his words and seeing the metaphors he speaks in. Because it’s hard for me to recognize negative emotions, worshipping with slow songs often causes frustration because I spend more time trying to figure out if I’m hurting or okay than I do focusing on God. But because I recognize joy easily, upbeat songs and silly dance moves connect me to him (we don’t have many of those in America).
Problem: I loved my job (hairstylist) and I love people and being with them every day, but I would come home from work exhausted and weary.
Answer: I am made to exhort and encourage and build others up, but because I crave intellectual stimulation so much, I got tired when the majority of my conversations were to encourage and compliment someone because those conversations were based off of feelings and emotions, not knowledge or facts. I’m trying to figure out a way to go back to my job, but have more frequent conversations where I can learn things that are valuable to me and teach things that are valuable to me.
I used to want God to change me. Now, because I can label my make up I can see that my “weaknesses” are actually the strengths that God gave me when I was born, but they were tainted in the sinful world.
Because God heals us, he is constantly transforming my “weaknesses” back into their originally pristine state. And now that I can call out my STRENGTHS by name, I get to see how much they’ve been healed and pray for them to be healed even further.
