I was first baptized at 18 as a desperate attempt for Jesus to change me, without having to get to know Jesus or confess the life I had been living. I thought if I outwardly expressed it, some how it would internally change me. if I could convince everyone around me i really was different this time, maybe i would be. It obviously doesn’t work that way, & two weeks later I was back on pills and living the lifestyle that comes with it.
Tonight I’m being baptized again. something I struggled believing was even possible, as if I wasted the only chance I had. & then I had this picture..of going under the water and coming back up free from everything I thought made me, me; good and bad.
I’m not what I’ve done or all that I’ll do. I’m not my quirky personality or my colorful past. I’m not my attention getting laugh or my curly hair. I’m simply His. I’m His child; that’s all. & that’s enough. I’m enough.
So tonight, I’m walking into Jesus’s arms with an open heart and vulnerable spirit, fully embracing this new life with Him. I’m waiting with anticipation, ready to witness Him show up and eager to join in. After all, I’m in this to make His name great.
Tonight, i’m returning to my first love.
