Father, my prayer is that when men speak against me or wrongfully about me, when they mean me no good, please make my ears like that of a deaf man and my mouth that of a dumb man. I want to be so steadfast in You that I feel no need to entertain them or to defend myself because You are my Defender, my Redeemer, and my Love. Amen.
As a child I was taught to speak with boldness and confidence, to be an independent, smart thinker. I was also taught to listen carefully, think before speaking, and to do so in a respectful manner. I did just that. Mostly. It wasn’t always in the most respectful tone, but you were sure to know what I was thinking at all times. In elementary school a teacher wrote on my report card, “Bethana (my middle name) is a very smart and talented student. I really enjoy having her in my class, but she has a hard time staying quiet as other students complete their work. Please talk with her about this.” From then on, most of the times that I got into trouble or was reprimanded was due to my mouth. Either I was talking too much, speaking out of turn, or someone upset me and I felt the need to tell them exactly how I felt about it in no uncertain terms.
God has used the last 11 years to teach me a lot about tempering my tongue, speaking only when it’s necessary, and taking things to Him before others. I grew quite a bit throughout college, grad school, and life beyond. I was feeling good about it. Then, it seemed like much of my growth went out of the window once this World Race journey began. It was particularly challenging for me because I felt provoked at least three times each day. I felt like the kid that had to voice her opinion all the time. I felt like the little girl struggling between using her manners and “telling it like it is” because others were rude and disrespectful around me. Around month three we, God and I, began to get a grasp on it and I was so thankful.
Fast forward to the end of January, month 7, and I was appointed my team’s treasurer. I expected it to be difficult, for there to be opposition at some points, but I don’t know that I was ready for all that came so quickly. There was such a drastic shift in the way interactions took place that I was completely thrown off. I quickly sensed my flesh beginning to well up and try to overtake my spirit. I felt like I was backed into a corner and everything under the sun was being thrown my way. I wanted to retaliate. I wanted to be mean and spiteful, to use my words in such a way that what I’d actually said wouldn’t be realized until later.
But God! He reminded me that this was not my battle to fight because it was one of a spiritual nature, not flesh and blood. When I opened my bible to read the Psalm for the day He spoke so clearly that I could do nothing but smile and rest in His grace and mercy. The Amplified Bible reads, “But I, like a deaf man, hear not; and I am like a dumb man who opens not his mouth. Yes, I have become like a deaf man who hears not, in whose mouth are no arguments or replies. For in You, O Lord, do I hope; You will answer, O Lord my God” (Psalm 38:13-15). I felt supernatural peace and reassurance. I knew that my responsibility from then out would be to steward my team’s finances to the best of my ability and allow God to handle the rest. That’s where the prayer at the beginning of this post came from. Since that moment a couple weeks ago there has been a beautiful shift in my heart and mind regarding serving as treasurer for the next 3 months.
There is so much freedom in recognizing the boundaries the Lord has set. Each time in my life that I have not only recognized but fully embraced my responsibilities vs. God’s vs. those of other people I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the joy that comes along with it. In doing so I am much more capable of walking in the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are bi-products of a life lived solely for Christ. A life where He is allowed to be our eyes, ears, and mouth.
In those challenging moments where the enemy would love nothing more than to see you act a plum fool remember that you were created to worship God and bring glory to His name. Lift your eyes to where your help comes from and make Jesus your central focus. I invite you to join me in my choice to allow God to be God, to be deaf and dumb. Pray with me:
Father, my prayer is that when men speak against me or wrongfully about me, when they mean me no good, please make my ears like that of a deaf man and my mouth that of a dumb man. I want to be so steadfast in You that I feel no need to entertain them or to defend myself because You are my Defender, my Redeemer, and my Love. Amen.
P.S. This evening our squad will be leaving Africa and heading toward the Dominican Republic. Please join us in praying for safe travels, leaving Africa well emotionally, and being open to all the Carribean has to offer us. Thanks and love you all!
