You know, sometimes I find myself in a bit of a rut and have no idea where it came from. I can be moseying along in life and everything seems to be just fine, or fine enough, and then all of a sudden BAM!!! The enemy comes in like a flood seeking to devour me. A prime example of this was just this past weekend. I had been feeling great about life, I was hearing from God clearly, the job was going well, I had been spending time with my closest friends, fundraising for the Race was gaining momentum… and then all of a sudden it was like the devil got mad that I was enjoying life as a daughter of the Most High King. He was like, “Naw, I gotta put a stop to that!” And he knew just where to attack me, too. He knows just the blow that will pack a punch. What was it? My physical health – specifically, my weight. He hit me with that Muhammad Ali jab in an attempt to attain a quick K.O. Oh he did knock the wind out of me for a minute! He had me all in my feelings thinking about all the effort I put forth in the gym and eating healthily, yet I’ve not seen the results I’d been hoping for. I mean I grew SO frustrated, angry, and self-loathing in a matter of minutes!
You know what I’m talking about, right?! Has that ever happened to you before? So the question became, “What are you gonna do with those thoughts and feelings, Shonda? Are you gonna wallow there or are you gonna get up and do something about it?” I wish I could say that I immediately started combating them with the Word, and that I got up and went for a walk or something, but that didn’t happen. I wallowed for a good hour before my best friend called and gave me some really encouraging words. I didn’t exactly accept them, though. It sounded great and all, but I was in the middle of an awesome pity party and I wasn’t ready for it to end. I didn’t really wanna be there, but for the moment I was “too comfortable in pain.” I stayed there for another hour or so and then I decided that I didn’t want to be there anymore and I wasn’t going to allow the devil to win the fight. So I got up, put some sweat pants on, went in the living room, and popped in a Pilates DVD that I hadn’t done in years, literally. I felt so great afterward! I was proud of myself, energized, and refreshed! Like a kid, I was like, “Na nana boo boo! Take that, devil!”
Sometimes it’s not that easy, though. Sometimes we have to dig deep and encourage ourselves using the Word of God and memories of how awesome He’s been to us in the past. So for the next time I’m tempted to wallow, the following are some reminders for myself. Maybe they’ll encourage you as well.
- I was created purpose and nothing/no one will prevent it from being fulfilled. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” –Jeremiah 1:5
- My mother had several miscarriages before I was born. Then, I was 2 months premature and the doctors told her and my dad that I probably would not live to see 5 years old due to the many complications I endured. WRONG! In less than 2 months, I’ll be celebrating my 27th birthday.
- At 16/17 years old, someone that was renting a room in my parents’ house became very upset with my dad after he’d been served a notice to vacate, so the guy tried to blow up my house with us in it. Thank God we didn’t flip the “right” switch in the house or else we might not be here today. No joke.
- A couple years ago I had a ’96 Chevy Cavalier and it stopped abruptly in the middle of a 4-lane highway during afternoon rush hour traffic. But, no one hit me and I was able to get the car to the side of the road safely.
- God speaks to me and I can hear Him as if He is sitting next to me on the couch. “Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” –Isaiah 6:8
- Because I was born so early, the hearing in my left ear did not develop all the way and I am supposed to wear a hearing aid. I had several off and on before college, but did not like to wear them because I thought people would make fun of me. However, the physical limitation has not impaired my spiritual hearing! I said “Yes, Lord,” and will be traveling to 3 continents to spread the Good News.
- He’s the greatest friend I will ever know, and He’ll show Himself through others. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” –Proverbs 18:24
- Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the person that others come to in their time of trouble, when they want advice or encouragement, or to ask for assistance in some way. I was happy to be that person, but in most of those relationships I felt unfulfilled and unloved because they were not reciprocal. I longed to not only know and love, but to be known and loved. Finally, last October after I listened carefully and heeded His voice, He sent me 9 wonderful ladies that have become my sisters!
- God has given me the strength I need to endure. “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” –Isaiah 40:31
- When I was about 15 years old, God showed me my purpose and somewhat of a timeline of when certain aspects would be completed. There have been so many times along the way that I wanted to give up, that I wished He’d given me a different purpose, that I didn’t want to complete school because it was so taxing on my heart, mind, and spirit. But May 10, 2014 I walked across the stage and received my Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy degree from Richmont Graduate University.
- On January 17th of this year, I was on a birthday retreat with the ladies mentioned in #3. As we sat around talking, we asked each other “What would you tell the person you’ll be one year from today?” My answer was, “Hunny, it was so worth it!” The one thing I had in mind when I said it was the Race, but I see now that God is going to blow my mind with all the ways that “it was so worth it.” He’s already been putting some of the puzzle pieces together to show me Himself and why I’ve had to grow through certain situations. I’m standing on faith that on January 17th of next year, one of the things I’ll be able to testify about will be a significant improvement in my physical health.
So when things get a little tough, or when feel as though you’re losing a battle, encourage yourself in the Lord. Remind yourself of how God’s brought you through time and again. Remind yourself of how Jesus pressed through on our behalves. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” –Hebrews 12:2-3
*The numbers and pics didn’t want to cooperate…
