I look back this Thanksgiving night to exactly one year ago. I was still with Mike, and I did not know it at the time, but God was taking that relationship to it's end, once and for all. I had just gotten a new job at Jc Penny salon, and I was currently living with Mike. The Lord plucked me up out of Mike's house and put me in my own apartment a week later. The weeks after that day became harder and harder for him and I. Lots of anger, hurtful words, I knew we had to end it, and it did with the final words we shared when he asked me if I loved him enough to marry him, and I told him no. I didn't know it at the time, but God was ready to take me on the most painful growing year of my life. In January I realized Mike and I would never be together again when he told me he met someone. January was so hard for me. I went to talk to a counselor. I even went the doctors to get on anti anxiety pills. I lived on them for a month and a half. I cried just about everyday. Some mornings it was hard for me to get out of bed. I prayed for God to take my pain away. Destroy the strong hold. Febuary 14th he answered my prayer. I won't go into detail what happened that night, but God's divine glory came rushing down. My friendElece prayed with me that night, and we both didn't know it, but her prayer was instantly answered in a few hours. I was laying in bed that night, and I could not sleep, so I got online and I just went to Adventures and Missions website. I seen the World Race and the next day I had this amazing peace I had never felt before. I knew this was God finally getting his way with me. 2 weeks later I was accepted to go on the World Race. I decided to move back to Ocean City that summer to work and save up money. I thought; how am I going to raise 15,000$ to go on this mission? God and I had the most amazing summer together. Oswald took me to places with Christ, I had never gone before. I was truley beginning to realize what it meant to know God. Jesus+Nothing=Everything changed my life. Colossians changed my life. Counterfiet Gods destroyed my identity in men. I spent hours in my bible everynight in my room. (those nights make me homesick) Then came training camp in July, and everything I thought I knew about myself was crushed at the feet of Jesus. I met my new faimly that week. I met the church. The rest of the summer flew by, and the next thing I knew I was at home for my last week before I left in September. The best day was packing to Jesus Culture while I worshipped my butt off in my bedroom. Launch was incredible. These people are my brothers and sisters and they love me the way Jesus loves me. Never experienced anything like it.
Malaysia…..9-21-2012
I am a child of God, he does everything for good. I am not going to pray for God to set me free from my thorn, but to give me his grace. It feels like dad took us on vacation this weekend. None of us wanted to go, but look at what God did on the way and look what he did in and through his children. We had bad attitudes this morning Lord. Forgive us. We are fools. Help us to rid us of ourselves and keep our eyes fixed on you from this day forward. It is not about our comforts, but about your movements and your pieces all through this puzzle we call life. No suffering? No Christ. Always be ready to carry your cross.
Australia…..10-23-2012
My dad told me to read Jude 20-21 today. Good Stuff. My Utmost for His Highest shared the same scripture tonight when I read it. Me and my dad met in Jude tonight.
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam…..11-1-2012
Found out tonight my bible is never coming back to me. I am blown away and I take for granted how much time we spent together and how much you have taught me through your word this year. I know you are telling me this is a new season and all my old notes are history. When I look upon my new bible with all my new notes, I will look back and think of the times you radically transformed my life on the race. You want your word to have new meaning. I am not defined by my past, but defined by the woman you are making me because of my past.
Da Nang, Vietnam….11-8-2012
We worshipped tonight by the river. I was on fire tonight. I couldn't hold it in. I was declaring His kingdom boldly; with such authority and faith. After worship I began to weap. I could not thank God enough for this life. I prayed that God would make me like Paul a few years ago, and I am sitting in Vietnam the whole way across the world sharing the gospel with the lost. This is what life is all about. This is why we are alive. God you chose me to carry your great name. I do not deserve this honor, but you chose me anyway. I am overwhlemed with joy right now. This was the passion stirring in my heart for so many years and finally it is here. How quickly you plucked me out of the mess I made of my life, and placed me right where you wanted me.
We were worshipping tonight after Thanksgiving dinner and I began to reflect on this past year and once again I was overwhelmed with the love you have for me. This Thanksgiving and everyday I am thankful for that job at Jc Penny. Thank you for my apartment. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for Elece. Thank you for answering my prayers so quickly. Thank you for my new family. Thank you for life. Thank you for who you are. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your provision, it blows me away. Thank you for faithfulness.
