Obedience? When is enough, enough? We expect God to give us the desires of our heart while we sit in our sin? Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. So let me start off by telling you about my journey up until I was excepted to the World Race. We can skip the details, but I want to get the point across that God is a jealous God who will not compete with our desires for worldy things, or someone else in my case. Mike was my life, my one true desire, my comfort for 4 1/2 years. I almost married him. Did I know deep down he wasn't "the one"? I was conflicted constantly between my wants and comforts constantly fighting the voice of the Holy Spirit. Mike and I broke up just this past December. My heart was literally ripped out of my chest. The most painful experience of my life, but I turned to God. Scripture began smacking me in the face to the point I spent every night on my knees crying out to God. I could not let go, I was just holding on with white knuckles. I wrote a 2 page prayer to God on Feb 12, begging him to take this burden from me, smack me in the face Lord. Well we all know sometimes God answers prayer speadily. Feb 14, God set up a divine appointment for me, He put someone in my life that night who I had never met, to tell me something I did not want to hear, but God wanted me to hear. God's divine power literally destroyed that stronghold. I got on Adventures in Missions that night and seen "the world race.' The next day I felt such joy and peace that I had never felt before, I just knew God was waiting for me to finally let go and let him have my life. I applied that day, and within 2 weeks I was accepted. You wanna know what the desire of my heart has been for the past 2 years? Missions. Back to my point in all this, that God is a jealous God, and when we put anything above him, we are robbing him of His glory. He will do whatever He chooses to do to bring us back to Him, no questions asked. God had to take Mike out of my life, enough was enough. He took me to so many scriptures the past 3 months, but the one that sticks out the most is Isaiah 29-30. "Ah stubborn Sheri, declares the Lord, who carry out a plan and not mine and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin upon sin. Egypt's help is worthless and empty, therefore I have called her Rahab who sits still.
See when we do things our way, we just make a viscious cycle of sin in our lives and we sit in an idol position, wondering alone in the wilderness. But when we turn to God and put our trust in him, thats when he will use us.
In returning and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15
God wants a purified vessel, and through pain and suffering only can this be accomplished. It's when we finally come to the end of ourselves and trust Him in everything. Not everyone will live an obedient life, I sure didnt. It is because of His great Mercy and Grace that I have been given this oppurtunity. I never want to go back to the conflict and spiritual battle that took place in my heart for 4 1/2 years. I encourage you to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, do not quench it. Follow Him every step of the way, He knows whats best for you. He never leads you astray.
Let me end with this most amazing promise Paul writes to Timothy….
if we endure, we will also reign with him:
if we deny him, he also will deny us:
if we are faithless, he remains faithful
for he cannot deny himself.
2 Timothy 2:12,13
