"Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call, a premonition of richer living which we know we are passing by. Strained by the very mad pace of our daily outer burdens, we are further strained by an inward uneasiness, because we have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence." – Thomas Kelly
(1.2.12)
What I've been thinking about lately, and with a healthier sense of anxiety is this:
What constitutes a life that pleases God?
The closer I get to the end of my life, it seems the only question that matters. Is the life I am living pleasing to God? I wonder at what will be written in the coming pages of this journal in the coming days. I wonder about the writing of my life –
The places I go,
The conversations I have,
The things I believe,
This is my day off and I'm not sure what it's supposed to look like, but my heart feels heavy with the weight of uncertainty about the year ahead, more than ever before. I am at a complete crossroads. I am facing losing my job, I am facing myself – I am faced with the deep questions of humanity, one being, "why IS IT so hard to have faith?" But I welcome 2012, ringing in the new year by asking a few different questions:
What if it didn't have to be this way? What if my hopes could really resound and WIN OUT over fears? What if I could see my beauty through the eyes of my Saviour? What if the uncertainties could be welcomed with joy for the building and developing of my faith?
2012, let's see what you've got up your sleeves.
