Many of us have expectations of what the World Race will be like.
But… like most expectations you don't realize you have them until they are unmet.
Nepal was my second month on the race and it was a month that the Lord planted so many seeds in my heart that would take root and grow over the following 9 months. At the end of my time in Nepal we found out that our squad would not be fighting the sex trafficking industry in the Red light district of Thailand. I was so mad. One of the main reasons I wanted to come to Thailand was to minister to the women trapped in that industry.
After reading blog after blog of racers who worked in the sex trafficking industry while in Thailand, I assumed and expected that it would be no different for me. So, when that expectation was unmet, I threw a little tantrum before God. Like a child when they don't get their way.
The first 2 months of the race i had already spent doing ministry I didn't really want to do…preaching. That is something that I am not naturally gifted at, and it had been quite a stretch for me to do it those first 2 months. So during my little tantrum I reminded God how I had persevered for TWO WHOLE months already doing things I didn't want to do for Him. You know!… like shouldn't I be rewarded with something that I wanted to do! hahaha.
During my tantrum, instead of God answering my demands and giving in to what I wanted, He told me something that I didn't want to hear and then asked me a very hard and unexpected question.
He basically said, "Shelley, you are not going to love ANY of the ministries that you will be a part of on the entire race." What!? I was even more mad when I heard that. Then the sobering question… "but will you still stay here and choose in for just one reason… because this is where I called you? Will you trust me in this?"
That was a hard question to swallow. I wish I could say that I joyfully accepted with excitement, but I didn't. I merely said yes. That's all I could muster at the time.
True to what God told me, although I found things I could appreciate with each ministry, there was not one of them that I loved and could see myself being a part of for the rest of my life. There wasn't one month where it clicked and I new this is what I'm called to do.
Now, for the funny part…In typical God fashion…
At the end of our month in Thailand (only a few weeks since God had posed that question to me) I became a team leader. At that point I knew God had prepared and called me to it but I felt insecure and inadequate to do it. (but, I've come to realize that's where God likes to use us the most, because He gets all the glory in it) I continued to be a team leader for the final 8 months of the race. It never felt like a burden. Sure, there were times it was hard and it caused me to turn to Lord even more, but for some crazy reason, which I couldn't figure out at the time, it just felt natural for me.
Team Restore 61 (We made a spot for you Sam…) Oh… these brave souls to trust me as their "fearless leader" for the first 4 months.
So on the last night of the race, our role of leadership was removed from us. And it wasn't until that moment as emotions welled up inside me, that I realized what the Lord had done for me.
Although, true to what the Lord had said to me in Nepal, there wasn't one country or one ministry in any of those countries that I loved, He had given me the ministry that I loved for the last 8 months of the race. I just hadn't seen it, because I was looking for it in the wrong place.
Being a team leader, I was able to nurture, encourage and help others grow into the calling God has on their life. That is what He created me to do and I know it is the overarching call on my life. I know whatever ministry I'm involved in will in some way use that passion that He has given me.
CG aka NewSong!…my beloved all girls team for the last 4 months of the race. So thankful for the joyful spirit and all the laughter 🙂
So, my race didn't look like I expected it to, but as usual God blew my expectations out of the water and it was more amazing than I had imagined.
Expect the Lord to do great things.
He will!
But know it probably won't come in the way you expect it to, and that's ok.
Team Relentless. Shout out to my first Team leader Lizi… thanks for loving us in all our awkwardness 🙂
Spent all 11 months with these 2 wonderful women! Love you both so much and loved living everyday of my race alongside you!
