So we just finished day 2 of walking the Camino and dang. Can I be real with y’all? I am an absolute mess. We have walked 30 miles with about 20 pounds on our back. I am in so much physical pain. Bruises, blisters, soreness…you name it!
This is hard. Like, really really hard. And because it’s so hard, it makes it really easy to give up. I have gone back and forth in my head about if I can really do this. Most times, I don’t think I can.
I look in front of me, in so much physical pain, and keep begging God for strength. I know that might sound dramatic but with weight on my back, blisters on my feet, my ankle giving out, and 10 more miles to go…I needed God to help me. I looked in front of me and saw I had so much further to go. I was so behind everyone else and I did not think I would ever catch up. I started to cry. Yelling for God to give me strength to move forward.
And that’s when God spoke to me.
He whispered,
“step by step, my child.”
I took a step. And then another, and then another.
I began to repeat “step by step.” That’s what it takes. It isn’t about how far I have to go or where everyone else is. It is about taking it one step at a time and trusting my Father to help me.
You see, it’s so easy for me to fall into the trap of comparison. Like, if I see someone so far ahead and I am still so far behind…I feel like a failure. I feel like I am not strong or good enough to finish. This is a weakness of mine.
I am scared to go home after the race. I see so many people I know and love getting engaged/married, working stable jobs, and having babies…
And comparison kicks in.
I feel like I am so far behind, like I will never catch up, like I am a failure. I feel like I will never be able to explain this year to people. Will they care? Will they see that I am totally different? Will they want to understand?
But God is so patient with me and keeps whispering,
“step by step, my child.”
And that is how He wants me to take this next season of my life. Step by Step. Fully trusting Him to take care of me and lead me home.
So here we are, day 3 of the Camino, and we have decided to rest. This experience is really hard but God is here with me. He is holding me. Taking care of me. He is comforting my heart and preparing it for what is to come. I am processing this year with Him and allowing Him to restore my heart. I am so desperate for more of Him and that’s exactly what I am getting.
Please continue and pray for us. Love you all 🙂
