One day last semester, after I got out of class, I was walking out to my vehicle and saw that a young lady had run in to the back side of my car. She left her phone number, we got in contact, and we got my car fixed. Everything was great, and she was really kind about it! Then, on my way home from picking my car up from the shop, a rock flies out of the truck in front of me and makes a little chip in the bottom left hand side of the windshield.
I know.. how ironic. I wanted to be angry and laugh all at the same time!
In the last five months, that little tiny chip became a single crack all the way across by a few inches at a time. Weather fluctuation didn’t help the situation.
Now, the other day I had an “aha” moment while driving home from school. I was complaining to myself about how I couldn’t see perfectly out of the window because it’s broken right in my line of sight, and I continued to dwell on how it happen and how it spread all the way to the other side. And it reminded me of how little repetitive choices we make now, lead to big consequences later.
I understand that there are good consequences for the good things we do, but unfortunately not all are that way.
For instance, the first few months of senior year were the hardest. Not academically, but emotionally and mentally. I found myself absolutely dreading going to school, not being engaged in class, and complaining more than ever.
It all began when school started, similar to when the rock first hit my window. I wasn’t too happy about school starting nor the work that needed to be done. And as difficult things in life occurred, I would complain about school a little more here and there, like when the window cracked more and more as time progressed. Then before I knew it, everyday when my family asked how school went, I would say “it could have been better” or “it wasn’t too bad”. I had become so led by my emotions, like the fluctuating weather causing the crack to spread all the way to the other side causing blind spots, I couldn’t see that I never had anything good to say about school. I was miserable and I never really had a good day at school. If I’m being honest here, I was so deceived by my emotions and this “depressed” mood I began to identify with, I hardly left my room, and I never wanted to do anything.
What started with me complaining about a class here and there, snowballed into a 3 month time period me becoming depressed and identifying with my negative emotions towards school, and my circumstances.
I am so thankful that the Lord opened my eyes to what I had fallen in to, and He helped me get out of the dark place I chose to linger in.
All of that to say: the little comments, decisions, and thoughts you allow to stick around, will soon begin to influence your life. Whether those are good or bad, you get to choose. Comments like “Man, you’re killing me” have power. But so does the comment “I have the mind of Christ, thank you Lord for your wisdom that you freely gave to me.” Life and death truly are in the power of the tongue. (proverbs 18:21)
Had I have chosen all those months to point out the good things about my day, instead of ignoring them and pointing out the negative (or what I perceived to be negative), I guarantee you I would have had good days. Again, if you dwell on the negative, you will eventually see negative fruit in your life.
If you identify with some part of this, just know, you aren’t alone. There are other people, including myself, that have struggled on the battlefield of the mind, but the Lord is fighting for you! If you are still struggling with this, feel free to push the contact tab, and get a hold of me. I’d love to chat with you, pray with you and encourage you! We are on this journey called life together, and we were meant to live in community, even if it’s online!
thanks for reading!
