When I heard it was going to be an all woman’s ministry month & we were going to be getting new teams – I’m not gonna lie I wasn’t too happy about it. If that wasn’t enough, the Lord had already told me I was going to be walking through some difficult things while I was in Sri Lanka.
So yeah your probably wondering why I was dreading an all woman’s month…
My past with females has not been great to say the least. I would put my full trust and faith into friendships with woman to just have it fall apart time after time. After a while your heart becomes calloused and you start to build walls so high that no one can climb over. I had one friend that took on the task of climbing those walls, and has walked through a lot of junk with me in our 9 years of friendship. She is patient, kind, and loving. BUT probably one of the only females that have been able to gain my trust.
Four years ago when I became a Christian, the Lord started to break down those walls with a strong woman’s community. Subconsciously, my heart has always remained guarded, expectant that I will be hurt again. It’s taken years for me to begin to let that brokenness to be healed. Even back at home, I do have some solid girl friends whom I love dearly – but I’m mostly friends with guys. It’s comfortable. It’s easy.
So needless to say I had some reservations about changing to an all woman’s team. All the possible things that could go wrong clouded my thoughts. BUT the Lord silenced my thoughts and asked me a question.
Shelby, did you go on this trip for it to be comfortable or did you come on this trip to grow?
Wow okay God. Okay. Yeah your right.
So I made the decision right then and there that I was going to choose in to this team no matter what. I was going to leave the knife on the table and walk away, even if that meant getting hurt in the process. I prayed that my team would be a good steward of the information I was about to share with them as I walked into this next month. I prayed that my team would change my perspectives and I would be open and willing to let them do that.
When we finally found out who was going to be on our teams – my heart was actually joyful….
Like what??
That could only be from the Lord – 100 % because I know that definitely wasn’t one of my own thoughts.
Our first lunch as a team was just further confirmation that the Lord had so beautifully orchestrated each woman’s heart in the same posture. All the women on my team decided to choose in and were willing to open their hearts to be vulnerable.
So yeah this has been a month of radical transformation of what my preconceived notions of what an all girls team was going to be like. And guess what guys? I loved every stinkin’ moment of it. (Crazy I know) I got to share my testimony, my past struggles, and my current ones. They didn’t judge me, they didn’t tear me down, they didn’t hurt me. Instead they encouraged me, spoke truth and life into me, and called me higher. They walked through the difficult junk with me and loved unconditionally. GUYS, it was such a sweet time building that community and investing in one another. And now I get to spend another month with them!! (Don’t worry I’ll keep you posted)
Team Loa !
