The slow rumble of the engines on the tracks.
The unique, potent smell of India wafting through the window.
The gentle rocking back and forth slowly lulling me back to sleep.
The early morning sun shining on the tip top of my pillow.
The small chatter as people begin to wake up.
I pull of my sleep mask, squinting at the incoming light.
I assess the damage, yes – just as I expected in a pool of my own sweat.
I look at the time, its only 9:05.
I sigh – only 14 more hours to go until we arrive at our destination in the blistering heat of India (did I mention we are lacking A/C on this train?)
This has been my day thus far, a clear reflection of what my time has been like in India.
Although India is the land of chai and spice, full of beautiful colors & culture, and home to one of the seven wonders of the world –. I am going to risk being completely honest with you guys, it has been HARD. Daily, we are fighting against the spiritual atmosphere of India. In the first two weeks of being in the villages in Ongole, I ended up getting infested with fleas, last week in Delhi half of my team got a horrible virus (including me) which had us down for two days. Plans changed. Logistics was hard. There have been days that I have been in a serious funk which caused me to become irritated at the smallest of things. It has put me in a haze of apathy. Nothing short of spiritual warfare.
I don’t want to be in this place. I recognize these thoughts aren’t of me. This is what they warned us about- certain spiritual atmospheres are certainly more difficult than others. Yet, they didn’t warn us about an entire month of heaviness. I’ve never quite experienced anything like this. Every day it seems like I am entering a new battle. Today, we are approaching Varanasi – the place everyone has been warning us about this entire month. It is the Hindu heart of India…. Talk about spiritually heavy. I start to pray “Lord break my heart for these people, for this place. Change my heart. Change my apathy. I don’t want to waste my time here, I refuse it. Protect us Lord, against the heaviness. Let us be the light in this dark place. Let us change calloused hearts. Change my calloused heart.”
Will you come alongside of my team during our last week here?
Pray against spiritual warfare and apathy
Pray against thoughts that aren’t of the Lord
Pray that we take this time to share the love and glory of God
Pray that we will be a light in the darkness.
I want to bring joy where there is fear.
I want to bring hope to the doubt.
I want to bring light to darkness.
